(no, it’s not just some national enquirer inspired fantasy) it exists and is here to stay. Great Pacific Garbage Patch And More about the Scientist who’s studying the problem :Great Pacific Garbage Patch; Plastic Turning Vast Area of Ocean into Ecological Nightmare

In the middle of September, I went for a walk on the beach here and there was piles, mounds, heaps of plastic trash as far as the eye could see. Shocking. Then I went to the east coast and there was a red tide that burned your chest so much, you HAD to cough and going to the beach was miserable (though I still went and found 75+ shark teeth!). And then I came back to the west coast and everything went and caught on fire. And we had warnings not to go outside for days on end. I’m not saying it’s all connected. I’m just saying is all.

love,
Heather

There’s a growing drumbeat to provide women quiet and comfortable rooms in public places to breastfeed their children, unaccosted by the idiotic public. And why not, the work-provided lactation rooms for women to pump milk are so useful and popular and necessary. So, on the face of it, yes! Sounds great. And when I think about those moments in the beginning, when my dear daughters were just fresh and new and scream-y at inopportune moments (yes, the daughters of Hathor cried sometimes, the latest one even had colic!) and latching required skill, and concentration, and fumbling and mumbling, sweating and leaking. yes. Those times I could have used a nice quiet room to go into and nurse, at least to get them started, and please, not the bathroom or out in my car. please no. It would be really nice if the rooms were provided for my comfort and yours. But, that’s not really their point is it? not really. They are provided for the comfort of management, and the other patrons, so that there won’t be any issues with our rogue breasts.

And now whenever I walk into a museum or mall that has one of those rooms, I think “drat! I’m gonna get grief for breastfeeding here.” And it doesn’t feel very friendly. Certainly not to mama, or baby, or the siblings who are trapped in there too. And doesn’t it seem to be ultimately, a real lack of breastfeeding knowledge? Who here has ever had a baby who nursed for a few minutes and then would stop? All of my babies wanted almost constant contact with the nipple and would have the uncanny ability to wake up when I put it away. I imagine that lactation room would get pretty old, pretty fast. Once the baby was latched on I would want to walk out a re-enter the world. Perhaps a sign on the door that says “breastfeeding room for your convenience, but feel free to nurse anywhere.” wouldn’t that rock?

Love,
Heather

Anyone? I was surprised to find this name used not once but three times in the comments on a ‘feminist’ website…and the term seems to be becoming quite common, practically ubiquitous, especially by women. I know it gets me broiled up, but then again, perhaps we should reclaim it? oooooh, how’s this…coming soon, Boobnazi! a comic about a really really pissed off lactivist!
wow, okay…coming soon!

Love,
Heather

Dear Mama,

I haven’t read the book yet, just a bit about it in the author’s own words (an article sent to me from mamiecaisse, thanks!). And it’s given me a LOT of food for thought. Provocative. As she intended it to be. My friend Mara’s philosopy whenever she comes across this sort of child-bashing stuff is always, “YAY! Another jerk not raising children!” Yet, this jerk IS raising children. And Mara is out of town, so I’ve been trying to think what kind of silver-lining she could find…I’m just not very good at silver-lining. Not about this… this… this kind of insidious ‘ism’.

A recent commenter (Suzanne) on this blog wrote a while back:

“One last thing: I think the current “Mommy wars” are symptomatic of a very anti-child culture that segregates generations in ways that are really unhealthy.”

and it had the element of truth to it, and really got me to thinking about age-segregation and age-ism. Because that’s what this is, one big giant ‘ism’. I think, because age-ism is so often targeted at older humans, we should begin to call this ‘child-ism’ the hating of children. And wow, isn’t child-ism becoming so prevalent?

It seems that everywhere I turn someone is spewing anti-child thoughts, every comedian has to have a joke about the baby on the airplane. Everyone laughs and laughs, because “it’s so true! Don’t you hate it when a baby comes down the aisle on a plane?!” And most adults have a story about a child that ruined a perfectly good meal at a restaurant, or their peace of mind at a concert, or even had the audacity to be born and ruined their friendships-because who wants to hang out with people who can only talk about their kids?

And for that matter why should any grown adult have to put up with this child nonsense? They throw temper tantrums, they’re messy, loud, obnoxious, often stinky, and more often than not, they could use a good spanking. Why do they have to even be around? And with that being said, aren’t there places for kids? Away from here, away from adults, away from decent, quiet, grown-up society where they can go, and leave us in peace?

Listen, really listen to the discussions, the jokes, the media reports, and you’ll begin to notice that these thoughts are the underlying current, “why should I-a grown-up, civilized, responsible only to myself- be bothered by the young of this world?”

And here it is again, this book No Kids: 40 reasons not to have them by Corrine Maier which continues and perpetuates these arguments and this time the author is a MOTHER. yep. Because here we come to the most insidious part of ‘child-ism’, the grown-ups who choose to spend their time with children are vilified as well. Especially if you do it for no pay. ‘Child-ism’ is rampant, and if you don’t want to be the butt end of the joke, “get ye to a career, QUICK!” Nevermind staying with your kids and fighting for their rights (and your own) to be seen and heard, drop them off with the babysitter and go have a nice night out. You deserve it, you’re a grown-up, right?

Most of Ms. Maiers reasons to not have kids, all come from ‘child-ism’, Disneyland and Child-friendly restaurants are all symptoms of a culture that thinks kids have to be pandered to, and kept separate from the world of intellegent, civilized adults. It’s segregation, pure and simple, and the world doesn’t HAVE to be that way.

There are places in this world believe it or not, where children are welcomed, tantrums and all, into the welcoming arms of the culture. I’ve seen it with my own eyes. So it’s become apparent that we need to fight back against the spread of this ‘ism’. Stop laughing at the jokes, stop making excuses for our lives and the lives of our children. They’re kids, and they have a right to be here, plain and simple. You and I are their mothers, we should stop distancing ourselves from them and start demanding their entrance to the world. I plan on pointing out ‘child-ism’ whenever it’s spoken, or written- and I hope you will join me in calling it out and stopping its spread.

Love,
Heather

so, my dearest husband went to bed and forgot to hand me the remote control, and I was working on a comic and the ad for the supernanny -coming up next!- included a baby that was still ‘gasp’ breastfeeding and sleeping with its mother. At 14 months. Seriously. So I had to watch, it was like a train wreck. The family was completely out of control, screaming, hitting, just really really miserable. But weaning from the breast to a bottle, and making the baby cry it out to sleep in its own bed, were top of the agenda.

Granted the mother was trapped sitting down and breastfeeding a LOT during the day (been there, huh?) and was having trouble sleeping. But it wasn’t anything that a sling and a bigger bed would have solved! I mean really, the family was packed onto a little bed.

Why can’t supernanny see that the helpful help that she gives these tormented families would be so much better if it included helping them attach to each other more, instead of promoting detachment? Oh, that’s right, because she’s a NANNY. Nannies aren’t supposed to attach to their charges, silly me. It’s a sad day that the culture is taking parenting advice from nannies, and really sad that the mothers are listening.

Love,
Heather