No Kids: 40 reasons not to have them
Dear Mama,
I haven’t read the book yet, just a bit about it in the author’s own words (an article sent to me from mamiecaisse, thanks!). And it’s given me a LOT of food for thought. Provocative. As she intended it to be. My friend Mara’s philosopy whenever she comes across this sort of child-bashing stuff is always, “YAY! Another jerk not raising children!” Yet, this jerk IS raising children. And Mara is out of town, so I’ve been trying to think what kind of silver-lining she could find…I’m just not very good at silver-lining. Not about this… this… this kind of insidious ‘ism’.
A recent commenter (Suzanne) on this blog wrote a while back:
“One last thing: I think the current “Mommy wars” are symptomatic of a very anti-child culture that segregates generations in ways that are really unhealthy.”
and it had the element of truth to it, and really got me to thinking about age-segregation and age-ism. Because that’s what this is, one big giant ‘ism’. I think, because age-ism is so often targeted at older humans, we should begin to call this ‘child-ism’ the hating of children. And wow, isn’t child-ism becoming so prevalent?
It seems that everywhere I turn someone is spewing anti-child thoughts, every comedian has to have a joke about the baby on the airplane. Everyone laughs and laughs, because “it’s so true! Don’t you hate it when a baby comes down the aisle on a plane?!” And most adults have a story about a child that ruined a perfectly good meal at a restaurant, or their peace of mind at a concert, or even had the audacity to be born and ruined their friendships-because who wants to hang out with people who can only talk about their kids?
And for that matter why should any grown adult have to put up with this child nonsense? They throw temper tantrums, they’re messy, loud, obnoxious, often stinky, and more often than not, they could use a good spanking. Why do they have to even be around? And with that being said, aren’t there places for kids? Away from here, away from adults, away from decent, quiet, grown-up society where they can go, and leave us in peace?
Listen, really listen to the discussions, the jokes, the media reports, and you’ll begin to notice that these thoughts are the underlying current, “why should I-a grown-up, civilized, responsible only to myself- be bothered by the young of this world?”
And here it is again, this book No Kids: 40 reasons not to have them by Corrine Maier which continues and perpetuates these arguments and this time the author is a MOTHER. yep. Because here we come to the most insidious part of ‘child-ism’, the grown-ups who choose to spend their time with children are vilified as well. Especially if you do it for no pay. ‘Child-ism’ is rampant, and if you don’t want to be the butt end of the joke, “get ye to a career, QUICK!” Nevermind staying with your kids and fighting for their rights (and your own) to be seen and heard, drop them off with the babysitter and go have a nice night out. You deserve it, you’re a grown-up, right?
Most of Ms. Maiers reasons to not have kids, all come from ‘child-ism’, Disneyland and Child-friendly restaurants are all symptoms of a culture that thinks kids have to be pandered to, and kept separate from the world of intellegent, civilized adults. It’s segregation, pure and simple, and the world doesn’t HAVE to be that way.
There are places in this world believe it or not, where children are welcomed, tantrums and all, into the welcoming arms of the culture. I’ve seen it with my own eyes. So it’s become apparent that we need to fight back against the spread of this ‘ism’. Stop laughing at the jokes, stop making excuses for our lives and the lives of our children. They’re kids, and they have a right to be here, plain and simple. You and I are their mothers, we should stop distancing ourselves from them and start demanding their entrance to the world. I plan on pointing out ‘child-ism’ whenever it’s spoken, or written- and I hope you will join me in calling it out and stopping its spread.
Love,
Heather
