If you have a birth story (preferably unassisted, but if it’s assisted it shouldn’t focus on the midwife- not that she’s not totally AWESOME, please don’t understand, I LOVE midwives! - too much, I’m looking for birth stories that focus on the mother, the baby and the birth process.) please send it in to be included in the next Hathor book (I’m too poor to pay you, but will happily give you a couple of the books and my undying gratitude!) Plus, you’ll be in print! My friend, Gurumama, is going to be editing the book so I’ll be passing the stories along to her and she’ll be in touch about whether they’ll be included or not…Please forward this widely!

Here’s what you can do to make the birth story exactly what I’m looking for:

1. remove the paragraphs where you’re making your decision to birth at home, or birth unassisted. for instance in my birth story of Gwyneth Kai, I’m going to remove the first paragraph where I blather on about wanting a birth that was free of interventions. For the sake of argument, lets agree that the audience for this book already WANTS a birth that’s free of interventions. Let’s ASSUME we live in a world where ALL women want no interventions. It’s a given. How would you start your birth story then…probably at the first contraction, huh? Okay, start there.

2. If you’re telling an unassisted birth story or an assisted birth story, let’s just call it a birth. Take out all the qualifiers and just birth that baby!

3. fear is fine, but how ’bout a little bit about how you ‘rise above’ the fear? And don’t forget to include those moments when you weren’t afraid. I like to read birth stories where the laboring mother ‘just knew’ what to do. It comforts me, and when I gave birth the third time I was able to tune into my instincts because I had read so many birth stories by women who ‘just knew’.

and 4. if you think your birth story can do all of this but it includes an intervention anyway, heck, send it in. Interventions happen, as do transfers, it’s how we FEEL (and write) about them that matters. Can your birth story tell how you transfered to the hospital and delivered your breech baby into the hands of some strange doctor, but still, wow! isn’t birth great?! and wouldn’t you do it again?

So, that’s what I’m looking for…please send them in! hathor at thecowgoddess.com or in the comments below.

xox,
Heather

I planned to write a couple of days ago, but I’ve been in the thick of a bunch of sick-o stuff. We have a tooth abscess, a possibly broken finger, the vomits, a sore throat, and lice. I kid you not. such is the life as a host organism with a brood of wee ones! (CAUTION! if you think that parasites can’t happen to you, and you scoff or some such thing. You will get parasites three fold. It’s the way the universe works. Lice, Pinworms, fungus. With your name on it!) So this is the third of six new Resolutions, I promise I’ll get through them pronto!

I am reading the BEST book! I usually wait until I finish, but I’m too excited! For my birthday I got a little mad money, so I went to my local BIG BOX bookstore ;o( and waiting on a table, just inside the door…

I’m telling you, it’s fabulous! Really. Here it is in a nutshell:

DEATH to the SUPERMARKETS BAKE BREAD PLAY THE UKULELE OPEN THE VILLAGE HALL Action is futile Quit moaning MAKE MUSIC STOP CONSUMING START PRODUCING BACKTOTHELAND SMASH USURY EMBRACE BEAUTY EMBRACE POVERTY HAIL THE CHISEL IGNORE the STATE REFORM IS FUTILE ANARCHY IN THE UK HAIL THE SPADE HAILTHEHORSE HAILTHEQUILL LOVE THY NEIGHBOUR BE CREATIVE FREE YOUR SPIRIT DIG THE EARTH MAKE COMPOST LIFE IS ABSURD WE ARE FREE BE MERRY_
How To Be Free byTom Hodgkinson is now out in paperback for £7.99 (Penguin) “Essential” –Time Out “Invigorating” –The Independent “Inspiring” –Psychologies

But it is so much more…check out the website: the idler and perhaps send him a note telling him that he rocks! I plan on doing that this morning…

Love,
Heather

ps. the calendars are FLYING off my desk, I’m ordering more right now…don’t forget to get thy order in pronto (It’s still early!)

Now, I (like you probably) have had nary a moment to spen preparing for this here Action Day. Alas! But Alisa T (thanks!) sent me this little bit of short fiction that her DH wrote, and the surest way to get me to post about it is of course to mention me ;o) I’m a GODDESS! We like to be thought of! See-Saw Section! Man, I love me some Harry Potter!

And there’s a great idea! on this Action Day how ’bout everyone re-post their birth stories, or blog about normal birth?

Here’s mine!

My husband Kevin and I had been planning an unassisted
birth since about month 6 of my pregnancy. My babies always wait until
well past their due date to be born and I was looking forward to a birth
that would have no pressure from outside forces. I really, really, really
wanted to know what it was like to spontaneously go into labor (both
of my previous births were induced by castor oil at week 42). I wanted
a birth that had no time lines or limits, no interventions, no pressure,
and no spectators.

In retrospect, I wish I could somehow separate the normal euphoria of
birth, from the overwhelming sense of pride in a birth that was done
on my own with just the support of my husband. But the emotions are
inextricably tied together and the birth just seems exactly, rightly,
so…So, let me just say this, when I was preparing for the birth I
visualized my perfect birth plan, but reality was much, much, much better.

And this is the story:

At 12:30 am on June 29 (23 days past my due date) I
heard a POP! Then a gurgle and then a SPLASH and water poured out from
between my legs! I half yelled “Kevin my water broke!” (Quiet, don?t
wake the kiddos) He looked at me HUH? And then jumped out of bed and
ran into the kitchen or ‘the birthing room’ as we imagined it and started
moving the table and chairs out to make room for the pool. I, meanwhile,
am floundering on the bed with torrents of water gushing out of me.
And you know what I’m thinking? I’m remembering that I am on the mattress
WITHOUT a mattress pad. Kevin finally comes to the room and sticks his
head in to see if I need anything? Yes, a towel would be nice.
While he sets up the birth pool I stand in the bathtub
for a few minutes, then I sit on the toilet and have the first contraction,
then two more about 2 minutes apart, then a doozy that makes me think
that the bathmat looks really comfortable. So the next time Kevin sticks
his head in the door I am lying on the bathroom floor. I decide soon
after that contraction that in actuality the bathmat is a very uncomfortable
place, so I head into the kitchen.
I announce that I am really hungry, but Kevin talks me
into a glass of water and we chat for a minute about what a crazy feeling
that was to have my water break like that out of nowhere! Then I got
into the birth pool. It was full about a quarter of the way and I told
Kevin to stop filling because I wanted to be able to add warm water
as it cooled and I was sure my labor was going to be many more hours.

I sat in the water through about 8 contractions that
were fairly easy. Then I thought I was going to throw up, but assured
Kevin that the desire to hurl cookies was completely normal. He gave
me a pot. I allowed this sign of impending transition to pass without
notice because I was so sure that I still had hours left. I had a couple
more contractions that I vocalized through. Kind of like a moose singing:
OOOOOOHHOOOOOWOOOOWOOOH like that. Kevin asked if I should get out of
the pool and move about a bit which seemed like a good idea.

I made it into a chair that was right by the pool in
time for 2 contractions on top of each other that got me really howling.
Kevin wiped off my face because it was incredibly hot in that kitchen
what with the giant pool of really hot water and all the windows being
closed (we live in a 750 square foot apartment with neighbors all around
and it was the middle of summer.) I asked for something to drink and
experienced the laboring phenomena I had heard of, where you are holding
a cup and you can’t get it to your mouth. I’m staring at it and can
not bring it closer! I want to drink, but my arm will not cooperate!
I now realize why bendy straws are included in every birth kit, unfortunately
there was no time to get one out of the box.

I asked Kevin to set up a nest by the couch, still determined
to move around to help the baby come, without realizing the birth was
imminent! While he was arranging things I had a couple of massive contractions,
and then he helped me to the living room ‘birth annex’. We paused for
another doozy of a contraction, and I’m beginning to think that I don’t
have the capability to withstand much more of this, but am still sure
that I have 2 more hours at least?

I sit on my knees by the couch and have a contraction
that lifts my body into the air and feels almost like I’m pushing! My
litany of phrases during the contraction totally changed from the moose
like stuff from before to Oh no Oh NO Oh NO and then Oh oh oh oh oh
and stuff like that. I have 2 of those before we decide to go back to
the pool.

Just in time for another one, Oh no Oh no Oh no I am
facing the birth pool wall on my knees and lifting up with the contractions.
There is a pause. Then another contraction in which I am totally bearing
down. Unmistakably. As soon as that contraction stops I tell Kevin that
I’m pushing. I don’t know if this was news to him or not, but he got
into the pool [which is impressive considering that there is…um…poop
in there]. The next contraction I put my fingers inside myself to check
and I feel a little lump which is decidedly foreign, could it be head?
I tell Kevin the baby is coming! Another contraction and then Kevin
tells me that he can feel the head too. The next contraction I start
to feel the ring of fire, so I add that to my litany too, oh no oh no
oh o and then owy ow ow it burns oh ow oh no, like that. Another one
and more of the head and then HEAD! Kevin announces it, but I already
knew. I ask which way it’s facing (for some reason this late in the
game I still need to know the babies position.) Kevin says its facing
him. I feel Relief. I tell Kevin not to worry, this is the lull, and
during the next contraction the shoulders will come. But there was one
more with no change, and then I said, “don’t pull!” and Kevin said,
“I’m not pulling!” so I knew that the baby was turning and VOILA! I
felt a little body squirm around inside of me and then with a push,
out slid Gwyneth. Kevin caught and then I turned around and he put her
right into my lap, pale and still for about a second and then a little
cough splutter and then a hearty cry! Yes!

It was 3:00 am.

We decided we best get out of the pool which quickly
became less miracle water and more of a cess pool as the minutes passed.
We were exhilarated and goofy psyched with giant smiles on our faces.
I moved over to the couch nest in the ‘birth annex’ and when Kevin went
to the bedroom to get more blankets for Gwyneth he saw my eldest daughter
Isobel sitting up in bed. She claims to have heard the baby crying.
(I want to remind you that our apartment is 750 square feet and neither
daughter heard me carrying on! What is up with that?)

Isobel came to pay her respects first, then went back
to wake up Fiona, they all gathered around in time for me to expel the
placenta with a lovely plooping sound. Kevin tied the cord with 3 pieces
of braided embroidery thread, so that Gwyneth’s stump looked all festive
like a little party and then we cut the cord (about 45 minutes after
the birth). She had remained gurgly for a little while, but once the
placenta was out I put her feet a bit higher than her head, and after
about a minute she sneezed out a bunch of snotty stuff and that was
that.

We all shared a big breakfast and then went to our bed
which was now a little less roomy with our new addition and fell into
a well deserved sleep.

And lastly, but not leastly….Here’s something you can do: I’m requesting Unassisted Birth Stories. I’d like them to be concise, hopeful, possibly humorous, or poignant, or with that little bit of somethin’ special, touching! And the undercurrent needs to be a constant and unremittant belief that birth is normal, and trustworthy and full of the easiness that all women can do. Even when it’s not easy at all. I’m gathering for a book that I’m writing and can’t pay you, but will give you full credit, send you a copy of the book and my undying gratitude.

And finally, speaking of Trusting Birth, I’m speaking at the upcoming TRUST BIRTH conference. Michel Odent is going to be speaking! SERIOUSLY! I’m wondering where I will find the strength to keep myself from throwing my bra up on the stage?! I’ll be the one in the audience with the lighter yellin’ “Free Bird, Michel! Free Bird!” Wow, I can’t wait.

Here’s the info (hope you can make it ;o) Trust Birth Conference!

And that’s it for me, off to play with company! (My father-in-law, step-mother-in-law, and mother-in-law are in town) figure that one out!!!

Happy Action Day for Normal Birth!!!!

Love,
Heather

I’ve been meaning to send this link for a while now, this a real-life friend of mine, an attachment parenting, slinging, breastfeeding, homeschooling mama, singing a song that she says-at least in part- is inspired by me! Here’s the story: I told her husband that he shouldn’t call our home phone because we never answer it because of the bill collectors and tele-marketers. This sparked a conversation about bill collectors and making ends meet and living in the world as it has become and being middle class and Voila! The most beautiful song I’ve ever heard. Get your kleenex, seriously! and then go here to listen The Middle of Nowhere

I’d love to get her a whole bunch of activity on her myspace page, so leave kind words, accolades and due respect and pass the song around if you’re so inclined.

love,
Heather

Dear Mama,
Post your ideas here…

xox,
Heather