Around here we’re having one of those days, there’s more yelling, crying and carrying on than there needs to be, and the kids aren’t exactly playing ‘nice’ either. But we get through those days, take deep breaths, remind ourselves that we’re filled with love and eventually it begins to flow forth again. Usually, at least around here, no one needs to ‘change’ their behaviour- or ourselves, we of course are behaving the best we can given the circumstances (and our particular circumstances is exhaustion from a dinner/dance, and the ren faire this weekend.) We just need to change our mood. Regain our optimism. Have you ever noticed that the mouthy-lip from your 3 year old can be totally endearing at times and infuriating at others? We all would gain if we spent less time trying to change our kids and more time working on ourselves, our own reactions. And then serve as that role model of love and respect and generosity and good spirits, so that our children return it in kind. That’s it in a nutshell, my parenting philosophy. Notice that it doesn’t have anything about perfection, and allows for bad temper (in me and the kids, even darling superhero too.)

Well, just the other day I witnessed a mother shoving her screaming 6 year old into a swing calling her a big baby over and over, I have no idea what her perceived infraction was…I really don’t want to know. I saw a mother completely out of control, okay maybe there’s a bit of us all in there, right? But then the inexplicable happened, the other grown woman in the group took her camera out of her bag and started to snap pictures and say out loud “I’m taking pictures of the big baby, acting like a big baby!” So there you have it, not a mother out of control, but planned; cold, calculating and horrifying. I was too shocked to do anything about it, and really what could I have done? it’s one thing to step in and help a mother at the end of her rope, another to interfere with an insane parenting tactic learned off the today show…

Be the boss! Tips on regulating the kids
Dr. Ruth Peters on stern but creative ways to be a disciplined mom or dad

read it and weep.

Love,
Heather

this musing is related to this comic:Strange Goals!

It started back in early December when Robyn C. told me about the nifty knitter. I asked for one for my birthday and about 15 hats later (including 4 fabulous santa hats), I’m an addict.
Then the same friend showed up at the park one day making a crocheted bag out of plastic grocery bags (she also makes really cool art dolls: iggyjingles.blogspot.com. Yep, really cool. So I thought “man, I’ve gotta learn how to crochet!” So we did and I made a jaunty green beret for my eldest just in time for St. Patty’s Day(drat! where is that hat? the car? the bedroom? the refrigerator?) And Now we’re knee deep in Ren Faire costumes…sewing and dyeing and having so much fun! oh man, I’m loving me some Ren Faire!

And just to make my everyday ensemble even more crafty-liscious You might notice my fabulous bag that my dear brother bought me for Christmas. Hand-made by Kelly S. her myspace page is here: subterfusion It’s so gorgeous and as you can see it inspired my girls to make some bags of their own!

A word usually reserved for the powerful, is in this instance used to describe mothers just like you and me… Wow, except for in my own home I rarely get described as tyrannical, and then only when I’m very very grumpy.
(thanks Antonia!) The Tyranny of Militant Lactivism Oh, please! There’s so much good (as in bad, but inspiring) stuff worth responding to in this article, but I chose to do a comic in response to his final line: “Surely it is time we left it to mothers and mothers alone to decide how to feed their infants.” Indeed. And that’s EXACTLY WHY we ‘militant lactivists’ (funny, the only arms I have are for hugging ;o) - ooooooh, another good comic idea! want a ban on formula advertising to new mothers. EXACTLY.

xox,
Heather

ps. I spent some time reading the comments and found this:

BVGeesten
Comment No. 1084123

January 27 11:45

GBR
Q: “What do infant formula milk, cigarettes and alcohol have in common?”

A: The fact that all of the industries that make these products have historically poured money into phoney thinktanks and front groups to try to deflect criticism, and push the idea that any attempt to regulate their activities is “irrational” and “hysterical”.

Brendan, why don’t you tell us a bit more about the relationship between your online magazine, Spiked Online, and the “Infant and Dietetic Foods Association”?

On page 10 of your “Brand Manager’s Pack” (http://www.spiked-online.com/pdf/BrandManagersPack.pdf) it says that you’ve “worked with” the INFORM campaign, which is apparently “an Infant and Dietetic Foods Association (IDFA) initiative on behalf of the UK infant formula manufacturers SMA Nutrition, Nutricia (Cow & Gate,
Milupa) and Farley/Heinz.” (http://www.idfa.org.uk/resources/public/InformManifesto.pdf)

Also quite striking is the fact that all 8 articles on breastfeeding on the Spiked website (http://www.spiked-online.com/index.php?/site/issues/C112/) seems to take exactly follow the industry line in attacking what you call “militant lactivism”.

Sorry to bang on, but in your “Brand Manager’s Pack” it also says that one of the services you offer to businesses is that you can help them with “brand alignment”, or they can “commission a Spiked series”. I’m curious - how much does it cost to “commission a Spiked series”, and what would I get for my money?

In the name of robust, open debate, free speech etc., do you not agree that journalists with financial links to a particular industry ought to declare any such affiliations up front?

Nice, very nice.

This Musing is directly related to the Comic The World According to the Formula Manufacturers!

I posted about this already, but wanted to repost it because it’s just such great fodder for comics ;o)

American College of Obstetricians and Gynocologists Statement on Homebirths

Washington, DC — The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) reiterates its long-standing opposition to home births. While childbirth is a normal physiologic process that most women experience without problems, monitoring of both the woman and the fetus during labor and delivery in a hospital or accredited birthing center is essential because complications can arise with little or no warning even among women with low-risk pregnancies.

ACOG acknowledges a woman’s right to make informed decisions regarding her delivery and to have a choice in choosing her health care provider, but ACOG does not support programs that advocate for, or individuals who provide, home births. Nor does ACOG support the provision of care by midwives who are not certified by the American College of Nurse-Midwives (ACNM) or the American Midwifery Certification Board (AMCB).

Childbirth decisions should not be dictated or influenced by what’s fashionable, trendy, or the latest cause célèbre. Despite the rosy picture painted by home birth advocates, a seemingly normal labor and delivery can quickly become life-threatening for both the mother and baby. Attempting a vaginal birth after cesarean (VBAC) at home is especially dangerous because if the uterus ruptures during labor, both the mother and baby face an emergency situation with potentially catastrophic consequences, including death. Unless a woman is in a hospital, an accredited freestanding birthing center, or a birthing center within a hospital complex, with physicians ready to intervene quickly if necessary, she puts herself and her baby’s health and life at unnecessary risk.

Advocates cite the high US cesarean rate as one justification for promoting home births. The cesarean delivery rate has concerned ACOG for the past several decades and ACOG remains committed to reducing it, but there is no scientific way to recommend an ‘ideal’ national cesarean rate as a target goal. In 2000, ACOG issued its Task Force Report Evaluation of Cesarean Delivery to assist physicians and institutions in assessing and reducing, if necessary, their cesarean delivery rates. Multiple factors are responsible for the current cesarean rate, but emerging contributors include maternal choice and the rising tide of high-risk pregnancies due to maternal age, overweight, obesity and diabetes.

The availability of an obstetrician-gynecologist to provide expertise and intervention in an emergency during labor and/or delivery may be life-saving for the mother or newborn and lower the likelihood of a bad outcome. ACOG believes that the safest setting for labor, delivery, and the immediate postpartum period is in the hospital, or a birthing center within a hospital complex, that meets the standards jointly outlined by the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) and ACOG, or in a freestanding birthing center that meets the standards of the Accreditation Association for Ambulatory Health Care, The Joint Commission, or the American Association of Birth Centers.

It should be emphasized that studies comparing the safety and outcome of births in hospitals with those occurring in other settings in the US are limited and have not been scientifically rigorous. Moreover, lay or other midwives attending to home births are unable to perform live-saving emergency cesarean deliveries and other surgical and medical procedures that would best safeguard the mother and child.

ACOG encourages all pregnant women to get prenatal care and to make a birth plan. The main goal should be a healthy and safe outcome for both mother and baby. Choosing to deliver a baby at home, however, is to place the process of giving birth over the goal of having a healthy baby. For women who choose a midwife to help deliver their baby, it is critical that they choose only ACNM-certified or AMCB-certified midwives that collaborate with a physician to deliver their baby in a hospital, hospital-based birthing center, or properly accredited freestanding birth center.

Now that I’ve reread it, they don’t ’support’ a woman’s right to choice at all, they ‘acknowlege’ it. Making my whole comic sort of nonsensical. So, back to the drawing board! More comics to come!

and my friend Talithat (hi Tawaret!) wrote this…

This just in:

The National Association of Car Washers (NACW) advises all automobile owners that washing a car in one’s own driveway is placing your car at risk. While you may own the car, NACW cannot approve taking cleaning it into your own hands.
We advises all responsible owners of dirty cars to only allow licensed car washers to clean your car and only in licensed car washing facilities. Any other choice is to put both you and the vehicle at greater risk.

hee hee hoooooooo!
Love,
Heather

This Musing is directly related to this Comic Your Choice
This Musing is directly related to this MusingAnti-Homebirth Press Release and Response! And this Comic A Mile Away!

I’m sending best wishes to all of you that your day is filled with sweet smelling roses, and glitter covered kisses, and glue-goopy hugs (you know, from all the wondrous homemade valentines your wee ones are working on) kisses mama!

and Free Hugs!

Free Hugs Campaign