This was sent to me a couple of weeks ago, but got moved to the back burner by the Time magazine article…but, here it goes: A top obstetrician on why men should NEVER be at the birth of their child (Thank you Carolyn and Claire!) I have many many thoughts, most of which I’ll be getting to in the next few comics, but here’s one: I can make the leap with him about questioning the validity of MEN being at births, but apparently he is using the term Men to mean FATHER. why is he not making the leap to include ALL men? including the Male OB/GYNs? Including himself? I would think that the father of the baby has more of a right to be there than the Dr. who has only met the mother 4 times, for pete’s sake! And if MEN in the form of Ob/gyns hadn’t started attending births the role of the man might have stayed unchanged through time: holding the space, protecting the quiet, boiling the water, just within a helpful, but waiting range. But if there’s going to be a male doctor in the space, why not the father? And the inverse must be true, if not the father, than why still the Doctor?
This is Michel Odent who has attended thousands of births assumably bringing his adrenaline with him, and now we find out he wouldn’t attend his own wife’s births?! Harumph. My father can’t imagine being at a birth, my husband can’t imagine missing it.These are both caring men in different cultural contexts. Remind me to give them both a hug because neither of these men would ever be so arrogant as to believe they should sit in on OTHER women’s births. Oh yes, Ladies, I believe Dr. Odent just crossed my line ;o).

Also, and I’ll be talking about this one directly, what the heck is up with THIS throw away line:

“Of course, it would not be possible for women to give birth alone.”?

huh? wow. okay. How about you try telling that to the millions of women who have!

My thoughts are running away with me, I best get my sharpie pens!

Love,
Heather

This Musing is totally related to this Musing: Michel Odent Didn’t Write the Article!

And I suppose Time Magazine is trying to make us more aware of the new trends with their article Choosy Mothers Choose Cesarean (Thank you Cathy, Euna, Kati, and Findley!) yeesh, and arrrrrrrrgh, and grrrrrrrrrrr.

your thoughts?

And this reminds me, now more than ever we need to get our birth stories out into the world…

Calling for Birth Stories!

If you have a birth story (preferably unassisted, but if it’s assisted it shouldn’t focus on the midwife- not that she’s not totally AWESOME, please don’t understand, I LOVE midwives! - too much, I’m looking for birth stories that focus on the mother, the baby and the birth process.) please send it in to be included in the next Hathor book (I’m too poor to pay you, but will happily give you a couple of the books and my undying gratitude!) Plus, you’ll be in print! My friend, Gurumama, is going to be editing the book so I’ll be passing the stories along to her and she’ll be in touch about whether they’ll be included or not…Please forward this widely!

Here’s what you can do to make the birth story exactly what I’m looking for:

1. remove the paragraphs where you’re making your decision to birth at home, or birth unassisted. for instance in my birth story of Gwyneth Kai, I’m going to remove the first paragraph where I blather on about wanting a birth that was free of interventions. For the sake of argument, lets agree that the audience for this book already WANTS a birth that’s free of interventions. Let’s ASSUME we live in a world where ALL women want no interventions. It’s a given. How would you start your birth story then…probably at the first contraction, huh? Okay, start there.

2. If you’re telling an unassisted birth story or an assisted birth story, let’s just call it a birth. Take out all the qualifiers and just birth that baby!

3. fear is fine, but how ’bout a little bit about how you ‘rise above’ the fear? And don’t forget to include those moments when you weren’t afraid. I like to read birth stories where the laboring mother ‘just knew’ what to do. It comforts me, and when I gave birth the third time I was able to tune into my instincts because I had read so many birth stories by women who ‘just knew’.

and 4. if you think your birth story can do all of this but it includes an intervention anyway, heck, send it in. Interventions happen, as do transfers, it’s how we FEEL (and write) about them that matters. Can your birth story tell how you transfered to the hospital and delivered your breech baby into the hands of some strange doctor, but still, wow! isn’t birth great?! and wouldn’t you do it again?

So, that’s what I’m looking for…please send them in! hathor at thecowgoddess.com or in the comments below.

Love,
Heather

this musing is related to this comic: cesarean awareness!

This recently came to my attention (thanks Claire A.!) Cow and Gate Good Night Milk because we all KNOW that the only good night is one in which baby sleeps endlessly, and that if our bodies knew how to MAKE thickened breastmilk they would, because why oh why would a baby NEED to wake every couple of hours? OBVIOUSLY if God, or Mother Nature, or Evolution, or whatever you believe, REALLY had our best interests in mind then babies would be little sleeping lovelies, ALL NIGHT LONG. So they obviously didn’t have our best interests in mind, right? So we should take matters into our own hands, right? Because there couldn’t possibly be a REASON for little babies to wake up repeatedly. So REALLY, what could go wrong?

Excuse me while i lapse into sarcasm folks. yeesh. a couple of comics are coming directly.

love,
Heather

this Musing is directly related to this comic:

A word usually reserved for the powerful, is in this instance used to describe mothers just like you and me… Wow, except for in my own home I rarely get described as tyrannical, and then only when I’m very very grumpy.
(thanks Antonia!) The Tyranny of Militant Lactivism Oh, please! There’s so much good (as in bad, but inspiring) stuff worth responding to in this article, but I chose to do a comic in response to his final line: “Surely it is time we left it to mothers and mothers alone to decide how to feed their infants.” Indeed. And that’s EXACTLY WHY we ‘militant lactivists’ (funny, the only arms I have are for hugging ;o) - ooooooh, another good comic idea! want a ban on formula advertising to new mothers. EXACTLY.

xox,
Heather

ps. I spent some time reading the comments and found this:

BVGeesten
Comment No. 1084123

January 27 11:45

GBR
Q: “What do infant formula milk, cigarettes and alcohol have in common?”

A: The fact that all of the industries that make these products have historically poured money into phoney thinktanks and front groups to try to deflect criticism, and push the idea that any attempt to regulate their activities is “irrational” and “hysterical”.

Brendan, why don’t you tell us a bit more about the relationship between your online magazine, Spiked Online, and the “Infant and Dietetic Foods Association”?

On page 10 of your “Brand Manager’s Pack” (http://www.spiked-online.com/pdf/BrandManagersPack.pdf) it says that you’ve “worked with” the INFORM campaign, which is apparently “an Infant and Dietetic Foods Association (IDFA) initiative on behalf of the UK infant formula manufacturers SMA Nutrition, Nutricia (Cow & Gate,
Milupa) and Farley/Heinz.” (http://www.idfa.org.uk/resources/public/InformManifesto.pdf)

Also quite striking is the fact that all 8 articles on breastfeeding on the Spiked website (http://www.spiked-online.com/index.php?/site/issues/C112/) seems to take exactly follow the industry line in attacking what you call “militant lactivism”.

Sorry to bang on, but in your “Brand Manager’s Pack” it also says that one of the services you offer to businesses is that you can help them with “brand alignment”, or they can “commission a Spiked series”. I’m curious - how much does it cost to “commission a Spiked series”, and what would I get for my money?

In the name of robust, open debate, free speech etc., do you not agree that journalists with financial links to a particular industry ought to declare any such affiliations up front?

Nice, very nice.

This Musing is directly related to the Comic The World According to the Formula Manufacturers!

A friend (Hi Antonia!) sent me this new ’study’ Marginal Mothers: The Case Of Full Term Breastfeeding And I don’t know about you, but I feel insulted already! Marginal! harumph! More comics/thoughts to follow. I’m off to plan a spectacular birthday party for an almost 7! child. wow, where does the time go?

Love,
Heather

This musing is directly related to this comic: Reasoned and Measured!