There are so many wonderful things about you to celebrate,
your fabulousness for instance, and your groovy dedication,
but do you know what I really love best about you?
Your sense of humor!

thanks for being a fan of Hathor the Cowgoddess, and a mama extraordinaire!

Starbucks Employee of the Month!Enjoy!

Around here we’re having one of those days, there’s more yelling, crying and carrying on than there needs to be, and the kids aren’t exactly playing ‘nice’ either. But we get through those days, take deep breaths, remind ourselves that we’re filled with love and eventually it begins to flow forth again. Usually, at least around here, no one needs to ‘change’ their behaviour- or ourselves, we of course are behaving the best we can given the circumstances (and our particular circumstances is exhaustion from a dinner/dance, and the ren faire this weekend.) We just need to change our mood. Regain our optimism. Have you ever noticed that the mouthy-lip from your 3 year old can be totally endearing at times and infuriating at others? We all would gain if we spent less time trying to change our kids and more time working on ourselves, our own reactions. And then serve as that role model of love and respect and generosity and good spirits, so that our children return it in kind. That’s it in a nutshell, my parenting philosophy. Notice that it doesn’t have anything about perfection, and allows for bad temper (in me and the kids, even darling superhero too.)

Well, just the other day I witnessed a mother shoving her screaming 6 year old into a swing calling her a big baby over and over, I have no idea what her perceived infraction was…I really don’t want to know. I saw a mother completely out of control, okay maybe there’s a bit of us all in there, right? But then the inexplicable happened, the other grown woman in the group took her camera out of her bag and started to snap pictures and say out loud “I’m taking pictures of the big baby, acting like a big baby!” So there you have it, not a mother out of control, but planned; cold, calculating and horrifying. I was too shocked to do anything about it, and really what could I have done? it’s one thing to step in and help a mother at the end of her rope, another to interfere with an insane parenting tactic learned off the today show…

Be the boss! Tips on regulating the kids
Dr. Ruth Peters on stern but creative ways to be a disciplined mom or dad

read it and weep.

Love,
Heather

this musing is related to this comic:Strange Goals!

Warning: Graphic Simulation of a Super Creepy Robot Giving Birth to a Plastic Baby (That’s NOT Alive!) While Taped Screaming and Hollering and A Team of Too Many Nurses Stick Their Hands Up the Robots Wazoo, While Saying Push and Breathe and So On and So Forth! Seriously, You’ve been Warned! My Stomach Hurts Just From Watching It! Yikes!

Baby Goes Beep! Beep!

Love,
Heather

This Musing is Related to this comic: The Prego-Robo 2000!

This from an e-mail exchange I had yesterday:

Hey Heather

I have a few musing of my own on the issue of fathers at births.
I wouldn’t say as others have, “I never could have done it without him” because quite frankly, I’m sure I could have done it without my husband there!

I wonder if the issue isn’t whether or not men are at birth, but what may be a hindrance in some situations is that the dynamics change when there are TWO men present while a woman births. I think dad may have some extremely awkward feelings he can’t bring to the surface, and certainly can’t verbalize:

-I’ve never been so excited! But I don’t want to cry in front of this other man!
-That dude has his hand in my wife’s vagina. I’m watching this other man touch my wife’s private parts! I don’t like it but I can’t do anything about it! I feel like I’m being forced to watch her be raped.
-My wife just farted in front of another man. I’m so embarrassed.
-I can’t show embarrassment in front of this dude.
-I’m scared but can’t let him see how nervous I am. He’s so cool and calm.
-I feel useless. Doc’s the hero. *I* want to be the hero, this is MY wife.
-This is messy and slimy and I don’t like another man being here.
-She’s pushing and she’s … well… it’s her ‘ugly’ face. I don’t want this dude to think my wife’s ugly.
-Those sounds she’s making… I’ve only heard those sounds come out of her when we have sex. My wife is making sex sounds while this other man has his hands in her vagina.
-I have a son! I want to cry! I’m a father! I have to be cool, though, because he’s here.
-That’s my son! What’s he doing with my son? I want to protect my wife and child, but I’m not in charge here!

The mother’s responds to her partner’s awkwardness. She senses his discomfort, which makes her uneasy which hinders her birth, and that’s why things sometimes go smoothly when he leaves. All the negative energy is gone, and the energy in the room focuses on her and her labor.

But, everyone blames the “blood” and “mess” for making fathers uncomfortable.

Sheila Stubbs
I learned the hard way to Birth the Easy Way!
www.birthingtheeasyway.com

And my reply(with some added eloquence, because I’m a goddess and I get to edit myself ;o):

Fabulously right Sheila! I’m laughing and nodding and saying oh yes, so true! My darling superhero was probably terrified at my first birth because it was well, my first birth! Also I had 4 strangers yelling and holding my legs up in the air, while I’m flat on my back with an oxygen mask over my face and then they asked if I wanted a mirror to see the baby crown! I’m in the most traumatic position you could possibly be in for a totally natural vaginal birth, and they want me to enjoy the view? yikes! darling superhero was freaked!(but recovered nicely because he’s a superhero- did I mention that?) But during our unassisted birth he dove right into the pool and made the catch himself (my hands didn’t reach as I put on 90 pounds (good gracious!) I agree I could have totally done it without him, but it was nice to have his calm presence there!

xox,
Heather

Perhaps the fear and trauma that some men exhibit after the birth, are a result of the hospital practices and not the actual birth itself?

this musing is kind of related to this musing:Michel Odent Didn’t Write the Article!

So apparently the Daily Mail thinks it’s appropriate to write ‘by’ when it’s a piecemeal pile of snippets from an interview…
This Just In:

For the record, Michel Odent would like you to know:

About the pages in Daily Mail, first I was not the author of the article. It was written by a journalist after an interview on the phone. Also it is probable that people just read the sensational title. In fact I have never said that men ’should not be at the birth of their child’.

Warmest regards

Michel

Here’s an article that more eloquently defines his position: Is the Participation of the Father at Birth Dangerous?

*phew!* what a relief! Okay back to the scheduled programming (I’m glad I didn’t already do the rest of the series, let’s see where I’m gonna go with it now!)

Thanks everyone for the action alerts!!!!!

Love,
Heather

this musing replaces the musing: Woah! Michel Odent on Men at Births
and is kind of related to this musing:Some Thoughts On Men At Births!