Comments on: Some Thoughts on Men at Births! http://www.thecowgoddess.com/2008/04/30/some-thoughts-on-men-at-births/ The Evolution Revolution Fri, 25 Jul 2008 01:52:01 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.1.1 By: mamaof5 http://www.thecowgoddess.com/2008/04/30/some-thoughts-on-men-at-births/#comment-3668 mamaof5 Wed, 30 Apr 2008 20:25:36 +0000 http://www.thecowgoddess.com/2008/04/30/some-thoughts-on-men-at-births/#comment-3668 I like what you said alot better then what sheila said. I don't think my hubby is grossed out or worried about another man seeing me with an "ugly" face or making "sex noises". Maybe the protector part. And he sure as hell wasn't worried about crying cuz he just cried and cried (it was very sweet). Maybe it is just that some doctors (male and female) disempower (sp) families. Make the mom and husband feel stupid and work on their fears of death of their baby. They make certain things a mystery (a friends wife was in labor things "happened" and he was sent to the hallway while they "did stuff" to save her and the baby. He was left scared and alone in the hallway waiting for his wife and baby to die. Neither did). And when they fuck up they don't cop to it. Niece had an eipderal with baby #3 (she had them with all of the really) it was placed to high and turned up to high, she ended up having labor stopped and had to be given lasix because she went in to pulimary edema. They almost intubted. BUT does she think "Crap they screwed up!" NO it is thank god I was in the hospital. I could have died. LOL The doctors coming in saying "you may now give birth... but do it quickly I have shit to do" the hole power crap that goes on. The whole system is so screwed up and most moms and dads are to scared to do something else... because all they see and hear is terrifying birth stories. Why is there no show on TV that shows calm, relaxed beautiful births? They happen I had them myself. I had 5 of them. But then that is what I wanted and I would settle for no less. Heather in Tucson I like what you said alot better then what sheila said. I don’t think my hubby is grossed out or worried about another man seeing me with an “ugly” face or making “sex noises”. Maybe the protector part. And he sure as hell wasn’t worried about crying cuz he just cried and cried (it was very sweet). Maybe it is just that some doctors (male and female) disempower (sp) families. Make the mom and husband feel stupid and work on their fears of death of their baby. They make certain things a mystery (a friends wife was in labor things “happened” and he was sent to the hallway while they “did stuff” to save her and the baby. He was left scared and alone in the hallway waiting for his wife and baby to die. Neither did). And when they fuck up they don’t cop to it. Niece had an eipderal with baby #3 (she had them with all of the really) it was placed to high and turned up to high, she ended up having labor stopped and had to be given lasix because she went in to pulimary edema. They almost intubted. BUT does she think “Crap they screwed up!” NO it is thank god I was in the hospital. I could have died. LOL The doctors coming in saying “you may now give birth… but do it quickly I have shit to do” the hole power crap that goes on.
The whole system is so screwed up and most moms and dads are to scared to do something else… because all they see and hear is terrifying birth stories. Why is there no show on TV that shows calm, relaxed beautiful births? They happen I had them myself. I had 5 of them. But then that is what I wanted and I would settle for no less.

Heather in Tucson

]]> By: wiffersnapper http://www.thecowgoddess.com/2008/04/30/some-thoughts-on-men-at-births/#comment-3669 wiffersnapper Thu, 01 May 2008 02:17:10 +0000 http://www.thecowgoddess.com/2008/04/30/some-thoughts-on-men-at-births/#comment-3669 I noticed the influence of TV births when talking to my middle school students about my impending labor... they all thought that having a baby meant hours of total agony and lots of screaming and yelling. I told them that screaming was a waste of energy! TV needs drama to be interesting- who wants to watch a calm, quiet woman happily giving birth to a calm, happy baby? How boring! :-) I've always used midwives, so my husband has never had to watch a man touch his wife's private parts. And I've never asked him how he'd feel about that! I noticed the influence of TV births when talking to my middle school students about my impending labor… they all thought that having a baby meant hours of total agony and lots of screaming and yelling. I told them that screaming was a waste of energy! TV needs drama to be interesting- who wants to watch a calm, quiet woman happily giving birth to a calm, happy baby? How boring! :-)

I’ve always used midwives, so my husband has never had to watch a man touch his wife’s private parts. And I’ve never asked him how he’d feel about that!

]]> By: northernmama http://www.thecowgoddess.com/2008/04/30/some-thoughts-on-men-at-births/#comment-3671 northernmama Thu, 01 May 2008 06:03:41 +0000 http://www.thecowgoddess.com/2008/04/30/some-thoughts-on-men-at-births/#comment-3671 I am so glad i had midwives, and gave birth at home. And that my beloved was there, with me for every minute of the 9ish hours - hardly a marathon of agony, it was pretty great, really. His comment: every father should witness the primal power of the mother. He counts himself lucky to have been part of his daughter's arrival in this world for a lot of reasons - not least as an engineer, marveling at how well designed humans are, how well the birth process works. I don't know how he'd have felt about another man being there - myself i might have become physically violent had some strange man tried to touch my crotch while i was birthing. (I seem to recall swearing at the head midwife at one point, one of the seemingly million times she wanted to check. my progress. Funny, scary, sad, infuriating, watching tv births, and also hearing stories from friends birthing in hospital. I also recall feeling both annoyed and wildly amused at the dimly heard voices telling me i wasn't ready to push - i could slightly hear them, but my daughter's voice was much louder, telling me it was time, and she was right. And for me, her father being there was grand. We had a ball. (how grand is it to have this site! i'm in awe of you all) I am so glad i had midwives, and gave birth at home. And that my beloved was there, with me for every minute of the 9ish hours - hardly a marathon of agony, it was pretty great, really. His comment: every father should witness the primal power of the mother. He counts himself lucky to have been part of his daughter’s arrival in this world for a lot of reasons - not least as an engineer, marveling at how well designed humans are, how well the birth process works.
I don’t know how he’d have felt about another man being there - myself i might have become physically violent had some strange man tried to touch my crotch while i was birthing. (I seem to recall swearing at the head midwife at one point, one of the seemingly million times she wanted to check. my progress.
Funny, scary, sad, infuriating, watching tv births, and also hearing stories from friends birthing in hospital. I also recall feeling both annoyed and wildly amused at the dimly heard voices telling me i wasn’t ready to push - i could slightly hear them, but my daughter’s voice was much louder, telling me it was time, and she was right.
And for me, her father being there was grand. We had a ball.

(how grand is it to have this site! i’m in awe of you all)

]]> By: northernmama http://www.thecowgoddess.com/2008/04/30/some-thoughts-on-men-at-births/#comment-3672 northernmama Thu, 01 May 2008 06:06:35 +0000 http://www.thecowgoddess.com/2008/04/30/some-thoughts-on-men-at-births/#comment-3672 I am so glad i had midwives, and gave birth at home. And that my beloved was there, with me for every minute of the 9ish hours - hardly a marathon of agony, it was pretty great, really. His comment: every father should witness the primal power of the mother. He counts himself lucky to have been part of his daughter's arrival in this world for a lot of reasons - not least as an engineer, marveling at how well designed humans are, how well the birth process works. I don't know how he'd have felt about another man being there - myself i might have become physically violent had some strange man tried to touch my crotch while i was birthing. (I seem to recall swearing at the head midwife at one point, one of the seemingly million times she wanted to check. my progress. Funny, scary, sad, infuriating, watching tv births, and also hearing stories from friends birthing in hospital. I also recall feeling both annoyed and wildly amused at the dimly heard voices telling me i wasn't ready to push - i could slightly hear them, but my daughter's voice was much louder, telling me it was time, and she was right. And our midwives did their job so well - there to be 'with the woman'(mid/wife) and empower my full engagement, getting out of the way also being a skill they value. And for me, her father being there was grand. We had a ball. (how grand is it to have this site! i'm in awe of you all) I am so glad i had midwives, and gave birth at home. And that my beloved was there, with me for every minute of the 9ish hours - hardly a marathon of agony, it was pretty great, really. His comment: every father should witness the primal power of the mother. He counts himself lucky to have been part of his daughter’s arrival in this world for a lot of reasons - not least as an engineer, marveling at how well designed humans are, how well the birth process works.
I don’t know how he’d have felt about another man being there - myself i might have become physically violent had some strange man tried to touch my crotch while i was birthing. (I seem to recall swearing at the head midwife at one point, one of the seemingly million times she wanted to check. my progress.
Funny, scary, sad, infuriating, watching tv births, and also hearing stories from friends birthing in hospital. I also recall feeling both annoyed and wildly amused at the dimly heard voices telling me i wasn’t ready to push - i could slightly hear them, but my daughter’s voice was much louder, telling me it was time, and she was right. And our midwives did their job so well - there to be ‘with the woman’(mid/wife) and empower my full engagement, getting out of the way also being a skill they value.
And for me, her father being there was grand. We had a ball.

(how grand is it to have this site! i’m in awe of you all)

]]> By: mamaof5 http://www.thecowgoddess.com/2008/04/30/some-thoughts-on-men-at-births/#comment-3679 mamaof5 Sat, 03 May 2008 13:36:52 +0000 http://www.thecowgoddess.com/2008/04/30/some-thoughts-on-men-at-births/#comment-3679 My husband was also amazed by my power and strenght after giving birth, and I was too for that matter. It is so shocking to me how easily we are trained to give that up. Giving birth was one of the single most empowering moments of my whole life (all 5 of them... especially #5 which I did UC). I realized that my body ROCKED! And on top of it I could MAKE MILK! What a freakin' miracle the female body is! Heather in Tucson My husband was also amazed by my power and strenght after giving birth, and I was too for that matter. It is so shocking to me how easily we are trained to give that up. Giving birth was one of the single most empowering moments of my whole life (all 5 of them… especially #5 which I did UC). I realized that my body ROCKED! And on top of it I could MAKE MILK! What a freakin’ miracle the female body is!

Heather in Tucson

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