Calling for Birth Stories!
If you have a birth story (preferably unassisted, but if it’s assisted it shouldn’t focus on the midwife- not that she’s not totally AWESOME, please don’t understand, I LOVE midwives! - too much, I’m looking for birth stories that focus on the mother, the baby and the birth process.) please send it in to be included in the next Hathor book (I’m too poor to pay you, but will happily give you a couple of the books and my undying gratitude!) Plus, you’ll be in print! My friend, Gurumama, is going to be editing the book so I’ll be passing the stories along to her and she’ll be in touch about whether they’ll be included or not…Please forward this widely!
Here’s what you can do to make the birth story exactly what I’m looking for:
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1. remove the paragraphs where you’re making your decision to birth at home, or birth unassisted. for instance in my birth story of Gwyneth Kai, I’m going to remove the first paragraph where I blather on about wanting a birth that was free of interventions. For the sake of argument, lets agree that the audience for this book already WANTS a birth that’s free of interventions. Let’s ASSUME we live in a world where ALL women want no interventions. It’s a given. How would you start your birth story then…probably at the first contraction, huh? Okay, start there.
2. If you’re telling an unassisted birth story or an assisted birth story, let’s just call it a birth. Take out all the qualifiers and just birth that baby!
3. fear is fine, but how ’bout a little bit about how you ‘rise above’ the fear? And don’t forget to include those moments when you weren’t afraid. I like to read birth stories where the laboring mother ‘just knew’ what to do. It comforts me, and when I gave birth the third time I was able to tune into my instincts because I had read so many birth stories by women who ‘just knew’.
and 4. if you think your birth story can do all of this but it includes an intervention anyway, heck, send it in. Interventions happen, as do transfers, it’s how we FEEL (and write) about them that matters. Can your birth story tell how you transfered to the hospital and delivered your breech baby into the hands of some strange doctor, but still, wow! isn’t birth great?! and wouldn’t you do it again?
So, that’s what I’m looking for…please send them in! hathor at thecowgoddess.com or in the comments below.
xox,
Heather
mammal said,
January 7, 2008 @ 3:14 pm
oh well, as for now i have only one story to tell, but with all the circumstances taken into account (first birth, i was 18, had premature contractions in 6th month and therefore knew all the hospital staff, baby was overdue and induction did not work) it’s been a pretty good birth.
and for my (hospital) midwife i’ve been the first woman to give birth kneeling…
mamaof5 said,
January 8, 2008 @ 7:30 am
Rowan’s birth story
I have been wanting to write about this… Rowan’s birth. So here is my version of the wonderful event.
I started having mild contractions in the early part of the afternoon on the 1st of May while the kids and I were at our regular homeschool park tuesday adventure. When we left the park in the late afternoon, I called Mike to let him know that I was having some contractions but they were mild and he should head on to class (he was in his last class for the spring) and keep his phone on in case I wanted him to come home before class was done (at 10 pm). I made the kids some dinner and we all ate up and then cleaned up. I decided that a nice walk would be good. And boy was it. We saw a duck flying and quacking (which is so funny), and we saw the moon rise and be swallowed by the clouds… at times it was so huge and orange-ish yellow it looked like a moon you see in a scary movie with werewolves. Then as we continued to walk we saw two jets taking off from the AFB and we could see the flames coming out of the rockets… it was very cool. The walk took about 45 minutes and was very nice and relaxing. The older kids (Sis and Logan) took showers and then I gave Sagan and Cae a bath. This whole time the contractions are getting stronger and longer and closer together… but instead of worrying I felt great and powerful.
Finally at 8:30 pm I give Mike a call and ask him to come home…. oh and could he pick up some water. Mike hurries home. I read the little guys some stories and we cuddled on the couch. By 10 pm everyone is sacking out, due to a busy day at the park. All of a sudden Mike says… hey do we have a nose sucky thing? NO! LOL so off he goes to Walgreens to get one. By 11pm everyone of the kids is asleep (even our night owls). Mike is pooped from getting up so early (5:30 am) and I tell him to just get some sleep (as he needs to be functional tomorrow with the kids) and I will wake him up if I need him. I draw myself a nice hot bath and soak and have wonderful contractions noting to myself that the stronger they get the more my back is starting to hurt. Around 2 am I give my friend a call. She is there by 2:45 or so. Time for me seems to be going by so fast. The contractions are now feeling very strong. I am not tried, I feel great… but my back is really starting to hurt alot when I have a contraction.
I wake Mike up and tell him A___ and I are going for a walk and we will be back soon. It is a very short walk as I have too pee right away. But it is a good walk and I have 6 or so contractions while we are walking. After going to the bathroom I draw another bath. A___ and Mike join me in the bathroom and we chat. Of course by now all the noise has woken up Sis who comes in to use the bathroom and then can’t get back to sleep. At 4:30am I am feeling like I am in transitions. The contractions are so overwhelming and by now my back is just screaming. I wanted to have a water birth but I could not get into a postion that felt good to my back. So out of the tub and into the bed where A____ can get some good counter pressure on my back. Mike goes and gets Sis and Logan who come in and start giggling at all the noises I am making… which is exactly what I needed to sort of snap me back to earth and focus. I start feeling “pushy” and my lovely husband places a nice warm compress on my perinum. ONE HUGE PUSH and out pops Rowan in all his big beautiful glory. He is so calm and quite… he goes right to my chest and we rub him a little as he is bluish on his fingers and toes. He has a great big wail and pinks up. He nurses right away.
After a bit the placenta finally comes out… while I am on the toilet trying to pee. LOL Totally grossed Sis out.
It was a very empowering experience…being totally in control of my own birth. Not having fear, not giving up my power. Having who I wanted there and doing what felt right to me.
Yes parts were intense, but it was good. It was very good. It was a beautiful way to end my baby making years.
Heather in Tucson
amyphilo said,
January 8, 2008 @ 9:32 am
I will send you one, and I will post this to everyone I think will be interested.
novamommy said,
January 8, 2008 @ 6:01 pm
Nova’s Birth
I went into Early Labor at about 3am on December 31st. The Contactions where Strong and about 12-14 Minutes apart But would Come For 2-3 hours then Disappate for awhile then Start back up. Hubby and I went to Our Friend Jerry’s at 4pm When we Got there it started to snow BADLY and the Contactions had Evened Out and Become Vary Hard to Just Sit threw….We Decided to leave and We went To the Hospital Because We Where Pretty Far away to Begin with It would have been 2 1/2 Hours Drive in the Snow to Edie (My Midwife)…I Checked In and they Monitored me for about 1/2 and Hour the Contactions at that Point where 5 Min. apart they Checked Me and I was 4 CM and I didnt Make Any Progress while I was there (about 3 hours total) even with all the walking, The Contactions where Still 5 min apart But they Told Me To either stay Or Go home and Labor so we went home and Had a New Years Kiss and went to bed, I Was able to Get A Good amount of sleep with the Occsional Rude awakening.
The Next Morning we Got up and when to Shawns(hubby) Parents House, We where Going to do Christmas That day with the Family (FIL Is a Trucker and that was the Only time he was home) We got there and I was Still Having Bad Contactions but they where Getting worse, We Decided to Go Back to the Hospital To Get Checked Before Paying for the Hotel Room, They Threw a Fit when I said I was Leaving! But They Got the Paperwork and I signed Out and went to the Hotel.
LOL On the Drive To the Hotel Hubby Got Lost (Thats Nerve Racking while In Labor LOL) But we Made it there in Less the 1 hour! Hubby Checked in and Helped me Upstairs to the Room, While He brought EVerything up I took a Nice Hot Shower and That Helped SO Much.
When Edie Got there She Did the Vitals and Listened to the Babies heart Beat and She Did Do 1 Internal exam To make sure that it wasnt allot farther along, She Just sat on the Couch while Shawn Helped and Comforted Me threw the Contactions, Edie Went Home for awhile and had Dinner, Shawn and I ordered a Pizza and I got Back in the Bathtub Time Sped by and Around 9:30 I called Edie and Said I wanted her to Come Back and she Reterned at about 10:00, Her Assistent and her 4month old Madelyn arrived Shortly after, They Just Sat in the “Living Room” Area and Talked about other Homebirths they Had attended….
For A Majority Of the Time I either Was In the Shower or pacing around only stoping to hold Shawns Shoulders to Sway Back and forth Threw the Contaction, at that point I Didnt stop to look at the Clock, I Ended up Back in the Shower and the Contactions Wouldnt Seem to end it was Like a set of waves Up and Down But no real end, I felt the Incredible Urge to Push! I was still in the shower and Holding the Railing VARY hard just to Make it threw the Peak of the Contactions.
Shawn went to gat Edie and she Helped Me Out and On to the Birthing Stool, She Told me to just Push as I needed I pushed For a few Minutes But Nothing was Happening Edie then asked If She Could Check me, I Said yes I still Had about 1/2 a cm Left to Go, I walked To the Bed Hanging on Shawn For Support, I Got on My hands and Knees on the Bed and Just Rocked My Pelvice hoping to Get the Urge Stronger this time.
After awhile With still No Strong Urge Edie DID Break My water For me, after that the Urge came In seconds, I was so tired at that Point I couldnt get up, I Laid on My side and Pushed with the Urge, It got to the Point where I wondered If she was Stuck But I reached Down and Felt her head Just a Bit away From Being Born. My Body Took over I had NO control She was Coming and I could stop her! I felt the Stretch and Got Scared Shawn Told Me to reach down and Feel her Head Ot was almost out! I wasnt able To stop From Crying while Her Head Emerged (happy Tears) Still I had NO Choice in Pushing My Body Took over the Rest Of the Time. After Her Head was out My Body let up and I was able to Have Some control One small but Powerful Push and She was Out and On My Chest in a Second!
The Only Thing I could Do at that point was Cry and Say how Beautiful She was!…….It was The GREATEST Experience Of My Life!
I would do again and again….Even after that Long of a Labor it felt like it was Over to Soon, I Cant wait to Do it Again!
alwaysroom4more said,
January 9, 2008 @ 1:55 pm
Birth stories that are positive…my last two births were INCREDIBLE!
Liam was born at home with a midwife present. I’d never had an unmedicated birth, so I was a bit apprehensive, but ready to go! He arrived a full month early in the middle of an ice storm. I woke up at 3 in the morning to realize I was in labor. I started blowing up my birth pool by bicycle pump(funniest pictures in the world-Mom with a bicycle pump and all 4 of his older sisters assisting the blow up)
I never even knew I was in transition with him. When the midwife showed up, I was laying on the floor curled in a fetal position, gripping the edge of the coffee table for all I was worth. She decided to check me and told me I was at 10 centimeters. I was shocked. Slid into my pool and sat….and sat……and sat…and waited for an hour to have an urge to push. Once I plopped onto my bottom, he was ready to go! The most incredible feeling in the world was to hold this tiny little person and realize I’d birthed him, in the presence of his Daddy and big sister, with no drugs, no tears, no screaming at me to “Push!” it was quiet, gentle, loving, dark and soothing. We sat in the cooling water for an hour and just gazed at each other. I was hooked on birth for the first time in 5 births.
His baby brother arrived in the same “unconventional way, but even more unconventionally. I had 2 weeks of false labor, false starts, cancelled calls to the midwife. The night before our anniversary, 4 days after his “due date”, Ethan decided to make his arrival. I knew I was in labor but didn’t want to bother anyone. I chased my darling off to bed, called the midwife and let her know this was it, but that I’d call her. I sat in a rocking chair from 10 PM until 4 AM and rocked, talked to little man(not knowing he was a boy)…we walked the house, folded and re-folded baby clothes, inventories the birth supplies. I tried to lay down but was uncomfortable, so I walked another hour.
I woke my darling at 5 AM and he made me the most divine ham and cheese omlette I’ve ever tasted…nothing fancy but oh how good it was! I sipped my red raspberry leaf tea, alked more, tickled my belly with each contraction, just wanted my darling to be near me and do nothing but let me know he was there. He was GREAT at it. NEver interfered, stopped what he was doing if I needed him. We walekd the house together and gathered the things to send with the children who didn’t want to be there(all but the oldest) and sent them off at 6:30 AM. At 6:40 AM, I was on my hands and knees staring into 2 inches of water in my birth pool(blown up this time by a plug in air compressor) when I realized that little man was on his way. I called out to my husband that the baby was coming. He called back “Yes honey I know.” and I very calmly told him “No honey. The baby is coming NOW.” By the time he made it from our kitchen sink to the birthing pool(maybe 10 feet) our son was crowning. He came into the world as peacefully and calmly as I can imagine, with his Daddy catching him, his big sister bringing blankets and scissors, and the midwife still a quarter a mile away.
My darling had to cut my underwear off me(still ahuge joke with a good friend-she brought me a new pair of underwear as a baby shower gift and no one laughed but she and I) to get to our son. He helped me sit down gently, handing our new baby to me underneath, and covered us both with blankets, 4 feet from the front door. By the time the midwife got there, the cord was done, the placenta arrived and I was ready to get up and take on the world. My sweetheart passed out on our bed watching me nurse our son, and my daughter helped fill out the birth certificate and then helped examine her new baby broether. I had to battle my FIRSTBORN to hold my newborn after we were all cleaned up and settled to bed.
I’m so hooke don birth now! #7 is due to arrive in 3 months, give or take a few weeks either way. I can’t wait!
wiffersnapper said,
January 10, 2008 @ 4:47 pm
After a less-than-cool birth with my first, my second is due in very early May (or possibly April- first was early). Hopefully, it’ll be a birth worth reporting here- I’ve loved reading these birth stories. Think happy thoughts my way, folks!
dancerimma said,
January 10, 2008 @ 9:08 pm
So, Sunday morning the 29th, I was up around 7 or so, annoyed that I was still not in labor. (I was roughly 2 weeks past due.) I had tried most of the list of natural methods to self-induce, and I was feeling pretty desperate. I did, however, remember that using a breast pump (which of course I own, doesn’t everyone?) is supposed to start contractions. (long scientific explanation, not really important) So I figure, It has to be better than castor oil, so I read the online instructions and hook myself up. Within half an hour, I was having good, regular contractions. Yay! Mike (my dh) woke up, didn’t ask questions, and started to get ready to go out. I decided to see if the contractions would continue on their own. They didn’t. In an hour, Mike was ready to leave, Michael was still asleep, and I was not in labor. On his way out the door, he suggested I try again, and reminded me that he had his cell phone. I hooked back up, and this time it only took 10 minutes for the contractions to kick in.
He got home around 10am, and Michael (our toddler) was awake. I suggested we could go for a walk, on the premise of progressing what by now seemed to be real but early labor. We walked for a mile and a half, and by the time we got a few blocks from home I had to stop walking and breathe through the contraction. Mike said to time them better so I wasn’t stuck standing in the sun during them. (It was July, after all, and quite a warm day.)
We got home and Mike fed Michael - the last thing we needed was one kid ready to fall out with the other starving to death. A fter weeks of on again, off again labor, I decided to further test things by laying down a bit. Now the contractions were not only not stopping, but they were starting to hurt. I took a warm bath, timed things, and decided we should call Jenn and my midwife. Jenn came over to pick up Michael, and my midwife said to page her when we started for the hospital. (There is no local birth center, and we wanted a midwife with us. We live in a still-barbaric area that prosecutes homebirthing midwives, and rather than put them at risk, our midwife just assists in the hospital, and yells at staff that try to bug us. They get annoyed, but leave us alone.) I wanted to stop at the grocery store for vitamin water - we had trouble getting beverages while I was in labor with Michael. I also thought that I would arrive at the hospital only to find we had hours to go. Mike ran in to the store, and I sat in the car timing contractions. They were now 4 minutes apart, and about a minute long. Then, Mike was flying down the highway, and I had to ask him not to drive so jerky, ‘cuz every jerk was setting off another one.
At the hospital, I valiantly tried to walk from the ramp to the maternity floor. By this time, I was in transition - basically the end of labor when most women are screaming for drugs, and the contractions are on top of each other. I was in the elevator. Some dumb nurse locked Mike out of the exam room, and kept asking me idiotic questions. Finally my midwife - the only person other than Mike that I actually wanted to see - came in to check me. I was 7 cm dilated! That’s almost the whole thing! They got me into a birthing room at 2pm. I had no drugs up to this point, and I thought, Hey, I can do this! Then things started moving really fast, and I felt like the pain was sucking me under. Mike told me if I needed something, to ask and not be ashamed of it. I just wanted to remember everything, unlike Michael’s delivery while I was under Nubain and was really hazy. Then it hit me that I hadn’t pushed a baby out without drugs before, and it could be a whole new breed of pain. I got pretty scared, and asked the nurse if I could have nubain without an IV (which I didn’t have). She said no, but I could get one, and went to check with my midwife. My midwife decided to check me again first. After, she said that I was fully dilated, that my water was about to break and we were going to have a baby. There wasn’t time for the IV, much less for the drugs to work. I remember Mike telling me I could do it, and me telling him that I wasn’t sure if I wanted to.
Myy water broke, and she told me I could start pushing. Mike washed his hands, ‘cuz he was going to help catch the baby (he caught Michael, too). I pushed twice, and she was out. Everything was so fast. Her cord was wrapped around her neck, torso, and arm, and they were unwinding her as they handed her to me. Mike told me later that the cord being wrapped would have scared him, had our midwife acted like it was concerning. He said she just helped him unwind it as I pushed her out, and it seemed like no big deal. All I remember was her sliding so smoothly out of me, like she was just ready to slip into life like a new oufit. It was so amazing, and overwhelming, and I as I held her I asked Mike what we’d had. No one had looked! We flipped her over, and Mike told me It’s a girl. We started calling her Ava right away.
The rest is history. She was 6lbs, and 19″ long. No one could agree on the exact birth minute - she was so fast, no one looked. We’re saying 2:34pm. Jenn brought Michael up right away, so we were never separated for long. We all sat around for the next few hours, Ava nursing - she latched on like a suckerfish from the moment she was born - and us talking about how crazy it was that she hadn’t been here minutes before. Two statements have stuck with me from Ava’s arrival: First, Mike has continually called me a freak. No drugs, two pushes, and a baby. He could be on to . Second, another friend told me last week that I made having a baby look easy. It wasn’t easy at all, but it was happy, and I think that makes all the difference!
djinneyah said,
January 10, 2008 @ 9:44 pm
By my dates, Izzy was due on May 14, 2006. Since I had had Sinjin 5 weeks early, I honestly thought I might go early again this time, too, possibly as early as 6 weeks, and so prepared for that possibility. I spent the pregnancy preparing for birth, knowing that I could get through labor just fine. I gathered some rudimentary supplies, scissors and shoelaces for the cord, towels, sheets, and chux pads, a birth ball, herbal teas. I settled in and waited for April, sure I would birth sometime during that month.
April passed, turned into May. I know I should’ve just tossed the calendar in the trash, but I couldn’t believe my luck! I had passed 35, 37, 39 weeks! I was amazed at what my body could accomplish when it wasn’t being told it would fail….
Mother’s day came and went. Monday passed with no signs of labor. Tuesday morning, I was miserable. Hugely uncomfortable, wondering if I was going to be pregnant forever. I decided to take Sinjin to the park that day and go for a long walk. We went up and down the path, and I walked in circles while he played on the playground. I never got anything more than some Braxton-Hicks, and after a couple hours, was too tired to continue.
Afternoon turned into evening, and into night. Corey (my husband) got ready for work and left around 10:30 pm. Sinjin and I decided to head to bed around 11. We lay down and read a story. I turned off the light, said goodnight and rolled over……..POP!
It felt like Izzy had landed a helluva punch, but I didn’t think anything more of it. I’d had the same sensation the night before, and nothing had come of it. I rolled over again because Sinjin was being restless, and fluid gushed out….my waters had broken. If you can, imagine a woman, roughly the size of a beached whale, squeezing her legs together as tightly as she can and tip-toeing to the bathroom, so as not to sploosh all over the carpet of the apartment….
I climbed into the tub and let go. Fluid went everywhere. It was clear, flecked with vernix, so all looked well. However, I kept leaking. Izzy’s head wasn’t acting like a cork for some reason, so I quick checked to make sure there was no cord prolapse. I didn’t feel anything, but suddenly got the urge to potty. No ctx yet, though.
I made my way out to the living room and found the phone. Corey had just gotten to work and was starting his night when I called. I then called my mom and my friend, Shell. Mom arrived first, then Shell, then Corey. By that time, ctx had started, so I knew we would have a baby by morning.
Sinjin was tired and cranky, although excited, so Corey took him to bed. They both fell asleep. Shell, Mom and I stayed out in the living room. Coffee was brewed. Some food was made. They chatted. I walked up and down the hall, stopping every few minutes to sit on the toilet. The whole time I kept leaking fluid. I had the feeling something was up, but didn’t feel that it was any sort of complication, so just pushed it to the back of my mind.
Labor progressed easily and fairly quickly. We never watched the clock, timed ctx, or did any cervical checks. I showered, walked around, sat on the birth ball, had a bath, walked some more. Before labor, I had been looking forward to being able to eat and drink as I pleased, but when the time came, I had no appetite. I was tired from a long day of trying to get labor started!
I don’t know what time I entered transition, but I do remember the ctx getting stronger, and laying down on the couch, wanting nothing more than to doze off for a while. I started feeling spacy and restless. I wasn’t comfortable, no matter what position I tried. I ended up on my knees, leaning over the birth ball, rocking back and forth. I heard myself start moaning and growling and for a split-second thought “here it comes”… the urge to push hit me like a freight train, and I leaned back onto my legs….here’s another image for you. You know the statue of Britney Spears giving birth on a bearskin rug? Everyone thought it was a silly pose, even I made fun of it at the time….karma bit me in the ass on that one. Every time I pushed, I leaned back and looked exactly like that stupid statue.
Meanwhile, my mother, who had up to this point been fairly calm, was suddenly quite alarmed at the roaring and growling, and for whatever reason, thought that she should hug me every time I started pushing. I somehow managed not to throw her across the room and ignored the fact that I was being smothered. Shell managed to put chux pads and sheets under me using some sleight of hand. I could feel the baby moving down, then being sucked back up. Again, the thought hit me that something must be off, and that this was going to hurt, and I was just going to have to summon up every bit of strength I had left to get her down and out….
So I roared, and I pushed, and I howled. By this time, Corey had woken up and was sitting in the corner. I was fine with that. I wanted my mom to join him, but it was moot by this point. I felt Izzy come down and start crowning. Shell was behind me, watching, telling me she was almost here….and then I felt it. I hadn’t felt it with Sinjin, so hadn’t been prepared for the ring of fire. Behind the burning white hot pain, the thought ran through my mind, just once, that maybe this had been a bad idea….and then I had to push again. My hand flew down to slow the crowning and let the tissue stretch. But it felt like I was going to split up the front, not through the perineum. I needed to do something…it took a moment before my head cleared long enough to communicate to the rest of me “change position”. At the exact same moment, I heard Shell behind me “Do you need to move? What do you want us to do?” I must have already been in motion. I told her to grab the couch cushions and pile them up off to the side. I told Mom to get behind them. In one movement, I flipped over into a semi-sitting/squatting position, leaned back, and pushed with everything I had. Izzy’s head popped through, and she was pissed! She started crying right then. I felt her corkscrew, and the shoulders and legs came tumbling out, into Shell’s hands. Izzy was letting the world know as loud as she possibly could that she had arrived. Shell handed her up to me, and I cradled her as best as I could. The cord was extremely short, and I couldn’t even get her to the breast without it being pulled. So I held her on my stomach and talked to her, put a towel around her and tried to calm her down. She started to settle down a bit, and Shell asked “So, what do we have, mama?” I realized I hadn’t looked to see yet… I announced “It’s a girl!” and the room cheered. We cut the cord soon after, since it seemed to be making Izzy uncomfortable and had pretty much stopped pulsating, and once that was done, she settled right down and took in her surroundings. We checked the clock… 4:40 am.
Izzy didn’t want to nurse right away, so Mom and Corey made their introductions while I birthed the placenta. We placed it in a plastic container, and I went and took a quick bath to clean up; I was covered in blood. While bathing, I got some clots out; there was a fair amount of blood loss, but nothing too severe. I got out and dried off while they weighed and measured Izzy.
Afterwards, me and Izzy settled in on the couch for our first nursing, while everyone else cleaned up. I was bruised, and had some skid marks, but no tears. That’s when Shell told me…that nagging feeling I’d had that something was off….Izzy had presented with a nuchal hand. Her little fist had been balled up on the side of her face, next to her temple.
Izzy was born on May 17, 2006, at roughly 4:40 am, weighing in at 9 lbs 11 oz, 22 inches long, with a 14 inch head and a nuchal hand.
I’m hoping for a repeat performance in a couple years
mama_anika said,
January 11, 2008 @ 4:56 pm
July 23, 2002, 41 weeks: As I had been doing 3 times a week during my pregnancy, I went swimming 45 min. in the late afternoon. It was so nice to be in the water, weightless, stretching out every ligament in my body, with occasional surges, which I took as being Braxton Hicks. I pondered the idea of having real active labor in the pool, getting out and giving birth under a hot shower in the locker room. A couple hours later, about 7pm, at the dr. appt., Angela asked to check me. I intended to not have any EX, but when she asked, I was just plain curious, and prepared in my head for her to say that baby was still floating, and I was nothing dilated. Boy were we surprised when she said I was already 2cm dilated and engaged! I remember how I felt at 2 cm with #2, thinking that a RCS wouldn’t be too bad an idea, and accepting the c/section with #1. As well, baby was LOA! When we hooked up with my visiting parents later in the evening, I resisted telling them that I was so far along already. I wanted it to continue to be our secret. About 1am I started having a bit stronger than BH contractions, but was able to sleep them off. The week or so before I had read all about the importance of staying quiet and secret and dark and sleeping when labor starts at night time, in order to let the labor hormones all work. Contractions were almost pleasurable. About 3 am I had to get up as my intestines were grumbling, and later got into the nice warm bathtub for a while where I felt more comfortable. When the water cooled down a couple hours later (somebody forgot to make sure the full gas tank was hooked up!), I got out of the tub and labored on the birth ball, naked at the foot of the bed. I was covered by my fleece blanket, which I threw off during contractions, and pulled on when I got chilly in between contractions. By then I needed to vocalize to work with the surges. I vomited a bit in a big birth bowl; was that a transition sign? Husband,Iván called Angela around 6:30am, she arrived around 7:30am, when I got back into tub again. Around 9 am, my lower back was burning, so I asked for sterile water injections, which had worked miracles with #2. That was hard to figure out, why did my back hurt so much if baby was anterior? Angela stalled, and asked to check me if I wanted SWI, so I agreed and got out of the tub and made it into my room and onto the bed, which was very uncomfortable. I can’t imagine how women can labor laying down and/or with multiple Exs. I was 9cm! I thought she was lying!! ”This baby is coming now,” she says. Iván runs into the bathroom and dumps the vinegar in the tub (2 liters as disinfectant for not drinkable tap water) and I made it back into the tub. One contraction standing up in tub holding on to Angela, she tells me not to run from the pain, but to go “within”. Iván gets in the tub behind me. I kneel in tub, take off eyeglasses and ask for water to drink. In one contraction I feel the bag of waters “pop”. At this point a verse came to my mind, “but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” -Isaiah 40:31 With the next contraction, as I lean on side of tub, Anika´s head comes out (1st primal scream), next contraction the whole rest of her body just slides right out (2nd primal scream)! I swear I didn’t even push, it was like what Michel Odent calls the “fetal ejection reflex”! She just came and there was nothing that I could do to make it happen or not happen. We sat in the water for a while; I held Anika and Iván held me. DS #1 and #2 came in to meet their new sister, wide eyed. Then my parents came in to see and take pictures. The placenta came out about 10 min later and Iván cut the cord, which by then had stopped pulsating and turned whitish. Still in the nice water, I got Anika latched on about 25 min later. When the water became chilled, Anika (nakey baby) and I (nakey mommy) got out of tub and back into my nice warm and cozy bed with the quilt that I love, where she was conceived. We slept and nursed and gloried in the experience for around 2 hours. Later Angela, in the gentlest way, examined and weighed Anika, 3.375 kilos and 52cm, and 36 cm head circ. Alex and Eric got in bed with us….one of those Kodak moments, which wouldn’t have been possible elsewhere except for at home! I felt great, if not a bit tired. But physically, felt like nothing unusual had just happened. Anika and I pretty much stayed in the bedroom, with little clothes and the space heater full blast (July is winter in southern hemisphere) during almost 2 weeks for our baby moon. It gave us more uninterrupted space and time to get to know each other, to get nursing off to a great start and just rest and be “mother and baby”.
esper_d said,
January 12, 2008 @ 3:30 am
I know we shouldn’t include the midwife, but what about a doula in the story?
Hathor said,
January 12, 2008 @ 10:59 am
Hi Esper d!
We’ve gotten some with midwives and doulas and husbands, lots! Send it in and let’s see. What I’m looking for is the birth experience from a mother’s point of view without anyone really telling her what to do…but I’m really flexible and Mara and I love reading all the stories so send it in if you want to share;o)
Love,
Heather
christazee said,
January 13, 2008 @ 7:37 am
So do we submit our BS here?
christazee said,
January 13, 2008 @ 8:37 am
We had Leo December 15 without any medication. I did most of it alone until the end when both my husband and Allen Birth Center helped me through the hard delivery. I labored most the night at home. I sat on the toilet and took 5 showers. I never laid down but stood the entire time. I vocalized a lot of the pain (that is me) and tried to stay calm.
We called the ABC around 4ish only to be told to wait few more hours. David called the first time and I would have thought that would have tipped ABC off. I was not describing it right.
My water broke but I thought it would be gallons like on tv but I felt like a had wet myself. I remained increasing calm about the whole thing which did not help everyone involved realize I was heading to hard labor. If I could not call, there was something going on, I had put everyone at the ABC cells in my phone.
Amy called us back around 9ish and I was still having “cramps” and “constipation” to the point that if they could not do anything I was going to the hospital. I was very very calm until I had a contraction. That is when she told me to come in. I could not talk it hurt so bad. We meet Amy at ABC only to discover I was fully dilated (sp?) and Amy could feel Leo’s head. I pushed for about 1 hours before he was born. Not bad for the first time…about 10 hours of labor.
I took a Bradley Method very seriously and it really helped me. I did my squats and meditated daily. Amy even remarked on how calm and collective i was, that is why she did not think i was as far as I was especially for a first time mother. When she called back, she spoke with me and i was talkive but “bossy”. I must have told her that I had get some relieve or I was going to the ER.
I used the birth chair and curled (sp?) my back. The only thing i wish i had not done was push so hard into the chair with my right hand. My right hand is hurting and my back. Also something else I did was practice pushing though the top of my stomach to the bottom about 3 weeks before he was due. I did it during my meditation time. I think it really helped me get though it though it, though I don’t think I would do it before the pregnant was full termed. I think it helped me visualize the birth and got things moving.
Leo was born on his due date. I think talking to Becky, a midwife at ABC really helped me. I just thought I would not delivery for a couple of weeks until after my due date. I was very upset about it. My mother was late with all three of her pregnancy and I just assumed I would be too. Becky saw that I was very depressed about it. She told me that she took a grad class in which the professor talk about a pregnant woman’s desire to have her body back had to be greater than the fear of the unknown before she would give birth. She assumed the unknown for me was the delivery but really it was the fear of parenting. I really had to come to terms with it. I really thought about it for a week before I gave birth to Leo.
mezzaluna said,
January 13, 2008 @ 5:01 pm
the birth of my baby girl 4/8/07
PRELABOR
things got started the morning of easter sunday. i woke up with blood-tinged mucus that increased throughout the day. after breakfast i called my midwife to let her know, since this was the last sign that happened for me before i went into labor with J. she cautioned that it could be days or even weeks still, but i felt like it would be a couple days at most. she was taking it seriously, too, though - she called her assistant, and told me she would check back in in a few hours. i ran around trying to do all the things we had left to do before the baby came, and started feeling very mild contractions by mid-day. they didn’t come regularly and seemed to be associated more with particular motions or positions, so once again i figured those could last a few days… though with J that pattern was what happened during the day before the night i went into labor. we had a bit of trouble grocery shopping because of easter - arrived at our usual store at 2:02 to find they’d closed at 2. by the time we got home J was overdue for a nap and G got him down and we got a precious couple hours to finish our preparations! i made dinner while G finished up some grading, then we woke J up from his late nap, ate dinner all together, and then i was feeling the contractions more regularly - every 5-10 minutes, and they were lasting about 30 seconds.
LABOR BEGINS
once i finished dinner around 7:30 i got in the bathtub to see if that would either make the contractions go away or if it would at least help me relax through them. they were still easy to cope with, but i was starting to need to focus on myself rather than J or any household chores. i read the new yorker in the bath… an article about paul wolfowitz and the world bank, then started in on a short story by don delillo. G was giving J a bath in the other bathroom, but realized i was starting to need his attention, so we called a neighbor to come be with J and she took him back to her house pretty soon afterwards. we had left a message with the midwives after dinner saying that things were progressing, but nothing serious yet. now we called back and said things were underway and asked the midwife who lives about half an hour away to come hang out at the house of her assistant who lives 5 minutes away. i continued to labor in the tub, and maybe around 8 or 8:30 things crossed the line between what i experienced as pre-labor with J but didn’t rise to the intensity of what the start of my labor with J was. finally, i was getting to experience early labor! we timed some contractions and they were coming at least every 5 minutes and lasting 1-2 minutes. now i knew for sure i was in labor! i started not being able to read the don delillo story during contractions. instead i rubbed my belly and said “hi baby” and tried to think about the pain in different ways - as an expansion rather than contraction… or as something more sensual than painful. those things helped me keep calm during contractions and not let them get away from me quite yet. i never got completely into a different mindset, but it allowed me to change my reaction to individual contractions after they started. G stayed right with me, offering me water and helping me get out of the tub when i needed to pee. i also had been having looser stools throughout the day and continued to in labor, never feeling like i could clear out fully.
NEEDING A BREAK
then things got difficult enough the tub, my philosophizing about contractions, and gary’s gentle help were not enough. G called the midwives to come over - the head midwife was still in transit and rerouted to our house. i got out and the midwives checked the baby’s heart rate quickly with a doppler - all looked good - and i’d been feeling the baby move a lot between contractions and after the peaks of contractions. i don’t remember feeling J move at all… maybe i was too wrapped up in labor? i labored some swaying around with G… i got into bed, and spent some time taking contractions on hands and knees while leaning forward to take the pressure off my cervix. G tried massaging my lower back, but that was too much for me. eventually ended up lying on my left side with G curled against my back. some contractions were easy enough to breathe through… others had me moaning already. they were getting really intense, but i was getting long breaks between them to rest and collect myself. G was able to sleep some especially if i had a quiet contraction. i think i may have dozed off between a few contractions. it felt so nice to just lie there wrapped up with G and take the contractions so nicely spaced apart… but the contractions were very strong, and i knew i didn’t want to keep doing that forever - strong contractions that weren’t progressing towards a baby. so eventually i got up and headed for the bathroom to see if emptying my bladder and moving a bit would intensify labor.
TRANSITION
and oh yes, it did! the contractions started coming at a very quick pace and were very very strong. some i could cope with, some i cried out at. i knew laboring on the toilet had helped a lot with J, so i knew this was useful, but all the same, i was miserable and not sure how much longer i could cope. a midwife checked the heartbeat again and it was still perfect. i started to feel like i ought to try the birthing tub downstairs. i was thinking about all the stories i’d heard of women who made that final leap to complete dilation as soon as they got in the tub. but my contractions were so close and painful it was very daunting to think of heading downstairs. i told the asst. midwife i was thinking of heading for the tub, and she said she thought it would be a good idea, so i found the courage to head there. i tried to hurry as quickly as possible between contractions, because i don’t think i had more than 15-20 seconds between them. i had probably 4 or 5 contractions on the way to the tub.
COMPLETE!
somehow i managed with G’s help to step into the tub. i felt my legs and thighs relax in the warm deep water - definitely more comfortable than a bathtub! but the contractions were pretty well unbearable by now - whatever unbearable means when you just keep bearing it! after a few contractions i felt a big pop during a contraction and a whoosh of fluid out of me - and i announced that the waters had broken. then with each contraction i started feeling a pushing sensation at the peak of the contraction… then through more of the contraction, and i started groaning the way i remember i had while pushing J. i said i was starting to feel like pushing during contractions, and the midwife said it sure sounded like it! i was excited that i was finally at the end, but somehow the pain got even more intense and i could feel myself panicking. the midwife asked me to feel if i could feel anything inside… this was actually fairly grounding to do - and very exciting to feel a very bony little dome just a couple inches in. i announced that i felt a head, for sure. on the next contraction i felt a ton of head - could feel the scalp squishing up, and the hair. the midwives starting asking me to breathe the baby out… to ease up on pushing. i tried to put my hands on my perineum to feel how it was going and to remind myself not to push too hard and fast. i felt pretty out of control though - trying to deal with a contraction, push, breathe, feel for feedback on my pushing, feeling like my pelvis was about to explode… and in an amazing instant the whole head was out. again they called out to me to slow down and breathe. so hard to do! i’m glad they reminded me, because i wasn’t thinking about how big a baby’s shoulders can be. the midwife reached in quickly to check for cord around the neck - i hardly noticed. on the next contraction the shoulders slipped out and the baby was all born! 11:47 pm. i can’t quite remember what position i was in for all this - G says i was on hands and knees - i think i may have had my hands up on the edge of the pool. someone reached in for the baby and handed the baby to me as i turned around to lean back against the side of the pool.
MEETING THE BABY
I held the baby on my chest for a long time before I was ready to lift the baby up and check… and when I did, we saw she was a girl, and knew that we had had our little C! she was so strong – lifting her head up off my chest already. She cried some, and was a little mucusy – but we didn’t want suctioning – we just let her rest on my chest and try to drain it out with some snuffles and sneezing. After resting in the tub a while, the midwives asked if I could get out because they wanted me to deliver the placenta out of the tub. I waddled over to the couch, C still attached to her umbilical cord, still attached to the placenta, still attached to me! The midwives had covered everything in towels and chux pads, and hey, our couch is deep red anyway. The contractions that came on now were unexpectedly hard, but less frequent than they had been during 2nd stage labor. About 25 minutes after her birth, the placenta came rocketing out and the contractions started to feel much easier, though overall the afterpains were no picnic. The placenta was placed in a stainless steel bowl, and the midwives checked me out. They gave me some herbs in water because I was bleeding a bit, but they said I was clotting very fast. I had a superficial tear of about 1/2” and we all agreed to let it be rather than put in the 3 stitches it would have taken… but then I had to agree to mostly stay in bed for one week with my legs together afterwards. I’m only one day in, but I can tell that will be hard with a toddler and baby! Still, I prefer to let it heal naturally. The head midwife helped me to the toilet and washed me down a bit with a washcloth where I was covered in blood and meconium. C had been a champion pooper already – although her waters broke clean, she had pooped plenty by the time we got out of the tub. Then we headed upstairs to snuggle in bed.
C hadn’t been too interested in nursing, but I did finally get her to nurse upstairs. The midwives then checked her out, and figured she weighed in at 9lbs even, and 21” long. Almost exactly the same as her big brother who was 8lb14oz and 21.5”.
I’ve been taking herbal remedies for afterpains and for bruising and swelling. I feel pretty good for what I just went through! Much better than I did after J. Still fairly weak and limiting myself to just getting up to go to the bathroom, haven’t ventured downstairs in the first 24 hours. Both kids are now asleep, and I’m going to go take my first post-partum bath!
lowycr7 said,
January 22, 2008 @ 11:43 am
The Day Of:
Wednesday morning, I went to the church to work on the mural painting in the nursery some
more. Joshua met me, Jadyn and the Hill’s for lunch at the Canadian restaurant. After lunch
Jadyn and I went home and took a nap. At about 3:00 pm, I was awakened by a contraction
but tried to go back to sleep as I had only been asleep for about 1/2 hour. I was not really
able tosleep, so when Jadyn woke up at around 3:30, I decided to load up the twin mattress
that we were giving a church friend in to the car and head back to the church.
Early Labor:
I had another contraction right before leaving for church at around 4:00 that seemed a little
different feeling than the ones I had been having for the weeks prior to then. Once I arrived
at church, I started painting and was having contractions about every 10 minutes that I had
to sit down for. I talked to Tracy about them. She was getting ready to leave so told Sondra
to keep an eye on me because she thought I might be having that baby tonight.
I was getting tired and knew Joshua would be home shortly so I got ready to leave at around
5:00. I had a strong contraction while I was saying goodbye to Sondra and she offered to
drive me home. We got back to the house and figured out that I had been having
contractions about every 10 minutes from 4:00 to 5:00. Sondra worked on folding my
mountain of laundry that was on the living room couch. I sat on my birth ball, drank water,
ate a Popsicle, and put a heating pad on my belly for the cervical pain.
Active Labor:
I quickly went to having contractions every 5 min and then every 3 min. I got on the phone
once we knew it was for real and told several people that I was in labor. Sondra called Tracy
and she came out quickly and helped with rubbing my back with a hot pad for the back labor
pain. We tried playing a few rounds of Boggle, but after a game or two, I headed to the
bathroom to pee at around 7:00. I had two very strong contractions that I had a hard time
handling so I decided it was time to get in the tub and get some water to help me.
Transition:
I moved into the tub, sitting on the birth ball, with the shower running on me and my helpers
taking turns applying counter pressure to my back. I labored like this for a few hours and
because the bathroom was nice and warm and steamy to keep me comfortable, my helpers
took turns going out into the dining room to stand in front of the a/c. For the next 2 hours
and 40 minutes, the baby moved down the birth canal. At one point, I accidentally bit
Joshua’s leg because I was biting his shorts during a contraction. After that they got me a
washcloth to bite on. I had been pushing for a little while during contractions when I felt her
head start to put pressure on my butt and knew that she was getting ready to crown. I
decided to get off the ball and moved to my hands and knees in the tub. My hands and
arms were so tired that I had Joshua sit on the edge of the tub with his legs inside so I could
lay the top half of my body on him. I had another contraction, pushed, and check to see if i
could feel her head. I couldn’t, but I could tell she was very close. The next contraction I
pushed her part of the way out and felt about 2 inches of her head. The next contraction I
pushed and she came sliding on out slipping past a few hands and onto the tub floor. I
picked her up and set her against my chest and sat back in the tub to catch my breath.
After confirming that she was breathing fine, I brought her down and we discovered that
she was a girl. My guess was right!
Placenta Delivered:
I had a few more mild contractions and after about 10-15 minutes, the placenta was
delivered. I check to see if all of it was there because a piece had come off. Joshua got
the string and scissors and tied and cut the cord a few minuets later. He then took her out
to see Jadyn and the other folks who had stopped by and ended up watching Jadyn for the
last portion of my labor. I cleaned up and got out of the tub. Jadyn had hidden the pads
that I had for the bleeding and we couldn’t find them anywhere, so we ended up using
disposable diapers (my mom’s idea) for a little while until I could get some pads when the
store opened the next day.