How Does Your Bathtime Go?
The bathtub taboo was pointed out to me by a Hathor reader (thanks Jess R.!) who found that her more mainsteam friends could approve of breastfeeding and co-sleeping (within reason!) but could not at all accept the idea of climbing into the tub with baby. That was entirely too much. hee hee.
Here’s my bathtime story: With my first child I used a plastic tub on the kitchen counter, and burt’s bees baby soap, and cottonballs to wash, and the Dr. Sears Baby Book open to read the ‘how-to’. It took me months until I ‘figured out’ that I could just get into the bathtub with her and wash her in my arms. With my second baby I figured out that the kitchen sink would easily work as I had long since gotten rid of my plastic tub, so if I didn’t want to take a bath, then the kitchen sink would do. Finally with my third I would use a mesh sling and take baby right into the shower with me (can’t be too hot though!)
Keep in mind that I was ever, always gentle and respectful and I’m so sorry to do this, but here’s ANOTHER reason to homebirth (thanks Helene S!) Please do not watch if you are feeling faint of heart, will haunt your dreams, I’m not kidding (I’m not going to embed it in my post because I’m totally serious, don’t watch if you don’t want to freak. But, the baby is OK in the end.) How NOT to bathe the baby the comments after the video seem to focus on the nurse and how badly she needs to be fired, but I can easily imagine this is not the first baby to be bathed in this manner. And asking at the local labor and delivery hospital how they bathe babies might be a good idea.
Love,
Heather
cordeliasmommy said,
November 16, 2007 @ 12:56 pm
First let me say that I love your site Hathor, I am a long time reader and a first time commenter. what a silly consumerist culture we live in. How bathing a baby can be made this complicated is absurd. My daughter is 4 and we still take baths together. It is a better use of time and water. Would love to see the reactions of those mainstream moms to that info, and then to watch their jaws drop even more when I tell them she also likes to nurse while we are in the warm comfy bath together. whatever. We are happy, and those mainstream moms always seem stressed and frantic. I would be too if I worried constantly about such nonsense as this.
Rebecca
hippyfreek said,
November 16, 2007 @ 2:07 pm
I remember when my daughter was born, they wanted to whisk her away for a bath. And my husband and I both shouted “NO! We’ll do it. Right here!” She still cried (because nurse wouldnt let us do it ourselves and the water was too cold in the small bowl they let us use!) but she immediately went back on my chest and stayed there for about a day, until we loaded her in the carseat to go home.
I don’t think I’d *want* to know how they bathe babies in the hospital.
It’s all so scary. I don’t understand the need to place our children in containers and buy things to make the inconveniences more convenient. It’s not right.
The other day I told someone that I hadn’t got a stroller until M reached 30 lbs and even then, we’ve used it maybe 4-5 times. They thought I was from Mars. if only they knew how many times her cribs has been used for anything other than a hamper or a bouncy-toy!
queenmommy911 said,
November 16, 2007 @ 4:42 pm
I tried that lovely plastic baby tub for about 6 weeks with my first. Poor baby screamed every time and I couldn’t stand it, so I took her and a pumpkin seat into the shower with me to see what happened. She’d been constipated and unhappy for a couple days and immediately relaxed, pooped, and went to sleep. I finished cleaning her up and placed her in the seat so I could clean me up and that’s how she was bathed until she could sit on her own. Then she just sat in the tub and played while I showered. All my babies since have showered with mom until that independent streak hit at around 3.
If you watch the Japanese baby bath from the sidebar of that awful hospital bath, you’ll feel quite a bit more peaceful. He only cried a little and only over being completely naked.
sewathomemama said,
November 16, 2007 @ 5:41 pm
i get upset pretty easily when it comes to bad things happening to babies. i completely bawled the first time i saw even a picture of a “circumstraint”. so i didn’t watch the video.
but on a more positive note: i was so nervous in the final weeks of my pregnancy because i couldn’t find satisfactory instructions on how to bathe a baby. we used a plastic baby tub inside the bathtub & he screamed. the second bath, & every bath since, has been one of us (usually me) in the tub with him. it’s great! i can wash him quickly, give myself an scrub, he gets a change of scenery & plays with his less-oft-seen bath toys. we also have a shower-head-hose-thing that he likes.
angelofthenorth said,
November 17, 2007 @ 2:19 am
People *don’t* have baths with their kids. Wow.
I mean, I knew baby baths existed, but I just assumed they were for when mums didn’t want a bath. My earliest memories are of bath time with one or other of my parents. Certainly all my friends can remember baths with parents in them. One of the staples of playground humour as a small child were tales of family baths where baby pooped, or something went wrong.
What’s changed in 28 years?
pnoog said,
November 17, 2007 @ 2:24 am
I don’t know why they want hospitals are so gung-ho about bathing newborns. They came out of a sterile environment.
There was a Swedish study about not bathing newborns…how the scent of the newborn and the scent of the mom helped breastfeeding along or something. I dunno. My midwife told me about a long time ago.
bethcandco said,
November 17, 2007 @ 4:52 am
I had one of those bath tubs for my first….lasted a few months then into the shower with me he went. #2 got the sink padded with some towels…that lasted a week. #3 and #4 the day their umbilical cord fell off it was time for a shower :).
I also feel like it is highschool all over again sometimes..Like when asked how much baby food my 8 month old is eating….Well none, but she eats a few bites of something off my plate at dinner… I get the akward looks, and the oh, we don’t eat well enough for the baby, Thank goodness for gerber. Maybe its just me but if the food isn’t good enough for baby it isn’t good enough for you either!
juliepie said,
November 17, 2007 @ 5:33 am
Wow, taking a bath with your baby just seems like the most normal thing in the world. I’ve bathed with all my boys until they were close to four. My husband and I still bathe with my little one (3) when his brother gives me the opportunity (my 5yo always wants his little brother to bathe with him, and that’s fine by me. My 9yo, however, prefers to shower ALONE, although sometimes one of the others will hop in with him.) I plan on showering with my daughter indefinitely, I mean, I shower with my adult female friends when they stay at the house if we need to (we only have one shower and a really small hot water heater!!)
It’s just a shower!! Just use the buddy system! People are so weird.
alisaterry said,
November 17, 2007 @ 5:38 am
We took our son into the bath tub with us. We had an inflatable bath, but it was such a hassle that I finally quit using it after just a few weeks.
mum-raa said,
November 17, 2007 @ 7:01 am
i never liked bathing with my tiny babies as i couldn’t get the water as hot as i liked it ! but when they’re bigger, we have been 4 in a bath on numerous occasions. but when they’re tiny i used a bucket bath, so the new born stays in the foetal position and doesn’t panic, and actually enjoys the bathing experience.
oceana said,
November 17, 2007 @ 8:22 am
It never occured to me to buy a plastic tub. My children’s first bath was with me in the tub. No crying but we did nurse. My boys now 4 and 2 still bathe with me. It is wonderful fun.
luluandbeans said,
November 17, 2007 @ 9:43 am
I used the plastic baby bathtub for my daughter for her first two weeks. I would put it on the table and use a pot to fill it so it was nice and warm, bathe her, then massage her and then clothe her…and then have to sit and stare at the tub on the table for hours until my husband was home to move it. I just did not have the strength to move it at all, and emptying with a cup took too much time away from snuggling my sweet girl. At two weeks old I thought “I wonder if she’d be ok in the shower with me?” And we have not looked back. My daughter, now 2 and a half, uses the plastic baby bathtub for her dolls and stuffed animals, while she and her 7 month old baby brother shower or bathe with me.
It’s been my experience that people genuinely do not understand how much easier it is to just take the kids into the tub or shower with you…jeez that sounds familiar doesn’t it? I wonder what other AP baby-raising activity is thought of as more complicated than it is? Hmmm…..let’s see: co-sleeping, babywearing, breastfeeding….basically ALL OF IT!
wiffersnapper said,
November 17, 2007 @ 10:04 am
I can also remember bathing with my parents as a tiny person, and my parents were pretty darn conservative! (My mother is still the most body-conscious person I know, which is funny, considering that I work at a Ren Faire, have changed in a room with 20 other people of various genders, and couldn’t care less who sees what parts of me!) I suspect part of the reason we bathed together was that my father has always had this paranoia about the well running dry, even though it never has. I think it’s odd how people are so self-conscious about their bodies that they can’t even be seen by their own children. We jump in together now and then and she always enjoys it. My daughter cheerfully points out “Mommy boobies” and “Emily boobies” the same way she points to any other body part, and I think that’s terrific.
janaki said,
November 17, 2007 @ 10:16 am
Oh, that reminds me! I used to take showers with my mom when I was little. I had this irrational fear of being sucked down the drain unless my mom was with me. I would only take baths for a long time and when it was time to drain the tub, I had to get out as quickly as possible so I didn’t get sucked down. lol, don’t ask me why!
Sanity8080 said,
November 17, 2007 @ 3:05 pm
Janaki, My five year old has the same fear, and when it comes time to drain the tub, she practically climbs OVER me to get out as fast as possible.
juxtafem said,
November 18, 2007 @ 12:03 pm
Must have struck a nerve with someone–it’s gone now.
Anywhere else to see it?
supermom said,
November 18, 2007 @ 9:49 pm
Having waterbirthed my two girls, bathing together was what naturally occurred to me. My 4 y.o. still loves to hop in the bath with me, after it cools off a bit. Feels good to lead such uncomplicated lives.
Julinda said,
November 19, 2007 @ 7:33 am
First, I didn’t watch the video because I have seen a baby bathed at a hospital, it did bother me (and still does), and when I had my 2 babies, in the hospital, I was very nervous any time they were out of my sight! I am not 100% sure if they were bathed in the manner I had seen or not. I think I was in the minority keeping my babies in the room w/me the whole 2 or so days I was in with each, but they did take them away once or twice. (I made DH go with them when they took them right after the birth but he didn’t tell me what was done.)
Second, I don’t have issues w/people bathing w/their kids but I personally don’t like to do it, and I don’t think there is anything wrong with NOT bathing w/your kids. For one thing babies are so slippery, I like to have them on something secure (like a foam surface) until they’re old enough to sit. They slip right out of my hands. For another I just don’t like anyone in the tub or shower w/me. (DH is disappointed about that!) But I do bathe babies very carefully and gently, minimize time if they’re scared, etc. Alex developed a tub and bath phobia a while back after falling and hitting something hard (that shouldn’t have been in the tub) and I did super-quick baths in his inflatable baby tub on the bathroom floor until he got over it. He now begs for baths and we have to keep the door shut for fear he’ll go take one on his own! (He’s 22 months old.)
Julinda
Gorel said,
November 19, 2007 @ 7:56 am
My son took his first dip when he was three days old, in the hospital, inthe combined sink/babytub. Bather was my husband. Next child, daughter no 1 had her first bath in the laundry hamper in our garden when she was 4 days. Daughter no 2 had a bath when she was 5 days…
And yes, I’m from Sweden!
It’s true that the babies smell gorgeus. Who needs that nursing-nosespray when you can smell a newborn baby! I can still bring on the memory of that scent…
Of course we’ve wiped off the babies with a wet cloth now and then, but no shampoo or strange bubbles.
I’ve been too afraid to drop the babies in the bathtub, so they have had a bath once or twice a week in their own tub. When they have been able to sit on their own, I have showered as they have taken their bath. And we go swimming in a warm pool once a week! Wonderful!
Summer said,
November 19, 2007 @ 9:00 am
they’ve removed the video due to terms of use violation? does it show a penis or something?
anyway. Jack’s had about six baths ever. We’re totally not bathers. When I do bathe him, I sit him in the kitchen sink or get in the bathtub with him.
At the hospital, post c section, we refused the bath altogether. Totally grossed the nurses out.
alexisyael said,
November 19, 2007 @ 10:04 am
We were given TWO tubs at our baby shower!!! TWO! Ridiculous (though I think we did register for one, at my DH’s request).
We used one of them for a little while… I don’t like taking tepid baths and my DH didn’t want to shower with the baby at first. But then I got him used to that idea, so they started showering together and taking baths sometimes.
Plus, I just don’t think babies need to be bathed all that often… when do they get dirty? (Now toddlers, on the other hand… oh yeah. Baths/ showers are good for toddlers!)
Sometimes I took a bath with him, too, but while it was sweet to be together, it usually made me a little grumpy afterwords, because I like scalding hot water (I get cold easily).
Now my son (18 months) takes a shower or bath with his daddy every morning! It is part of their routine and I get to sleep in… makes for a happier mama during the day! (And then I take a HOT bath at night, by myself.)
lindsey_r said,
November 19, 2007 @ 5:17 pm
The video has been taken down from YT, but I searched for “how not to bathe baby” and I believe I found it for those who still haven’t seen it:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=WATnDPSs3iI
Yikes!
typeogirl999 said,
November 19, 2007 @ 8:44 pm
In the video, that was totally unnecessary. Poor thing! When my baby was born, the nurse and I gave him a sponge bath in the warming bed. Much easier and gentler. He hardly fussed at all, and it was probably just from being a little chilly. And it wasn’t until he was a few hours old.
We used one of those little net/hammock things, giving him a sponge bath until his cord fell off. Then we tried the baby bathtub for a few weeks but he hated it. Fortunately, he grew out of it very quickly, and used a bath ring in the big tub while he as learning to sit up, and he liked that a little better. At least until he got more mobile at about 9 months old, trying to climb out of it and mad that he had to stay still. But he was terrified of being in the tub alone. So I started taking showers with him, and the first couple times he hated it when the water hit his head, but soon he didn’t mind much, and now he actually LIKES having water poured on his head. It didn’t take me long to get used to a little cooler water too.
A few weeks ago (at 16 months) he realized that having a bath in the big tub with mommy just outside was not so bad, after he saw me giving a little girl (22 mos old) I babysit a bath and how much she enjoyed it. Now he can’t wait to take a bath in the big tub.
Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t like baths, so we only took a couple together. But of course each time he had to nurse! He usually does in the shower too. Or whenever he catches a glimpse of a naked boob.
angelohara said,
November 19, 2007 @ 9:38 pm
When my son was 2 weeks old, my daughter got the flu–horrid case of it, and I got it too. My fever got so high that he wouldn’t nurse, too hot to be against me. So the bathtub saved both of us–brought down my temp (I was seeing spots by then), and soothed him enough to nurse. And he never go so much as a sniffle
Sanveann said,
November 19, 2007 @ 10:01 pm
That video was so distressing! I can’t believe the parents didn’t snatch their baby away.
I have to say, seeing that made me glad that when my son was born, my husband or I stayed with him at all times.
Gorel said,
November 20, 2007 @ 3:25 am
Wow, just watched the video. She gave that poor baby a flea-bath! Like the ones they give puppies in those animal-rescue shows… I´m amazed that the nurse even got the idea to wash the baby like that. But maybe she went to vet-tech school first. I bet she but him right back into his kennel after the shower.
Julinda said,
November 20, 2007 @ 6:00 am
Just wanted to add another reason I never took baths w/my kids is that I hate to take tub baths! I prefer showers. We’re not daily bathers either.
Jan Andrea said,
November 20, 2007 @ 6:11 am
I can’t comfortably fit in our tiny apartment bathtub, so no, I never took baths with my babies. They did go in the shower with me after I was confident enough with their head control. This time, yep, I bought the plastic baby bathing bucket (not the reclining tub, but the one that looks like a big vase); I’ve seen videos of babies bathed in it and they looks *so* happy! I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, since I can’t bathe in a bathtub with them. Honestly, I love this comic most of the time, but it irritates me sometimes that the positive sides of some inventions cannot be acknowledged for fear of somehow not being AP or “natural” enough. Not everyone has a tub. Not everyone is comfortable holding a brand-new, slippery baby in the shower (or tub, if they have one accessible). If they have another system that works and that the baby enjoys, why is that wrong?
earthymamma said,
November 20, 2007 @ 6:21 am
We’ve always bathed with our little ones. One tip we wanted to share was for the parents with wiggly ones (my son hasn’t been still for a second since birth and was very hard to hold on to in the bath). We found a use for the cute little bath glove washcloths, just put one on each hand and voila! You can now hold the slipperiest, wiggliest, soapiest baby easily in the shower or the bath. Actually, come to think of it, this would work no matter where you’re bathing a baby!
bra1ny1 said,
November 21, 2007 @ 12:20 pm
The video has been removed, so I don’t get to watch it.
I agree with what everyone else has said about bathing with children. My mother was a single parent and out of simplicity, we showered together through my entire childhood. I moved out of her house when I was 15, but we showered together then, too. The showers together became less frequent and only for times when we were harried, because we preferred our own space for showers, but still, it was nothing to me.
When my husband and I got married, he had three young children. My husband and I regularly bathed with his youngest, a boy who was then 2. He would sit in the tub and play with his bath toys while we washed up, then we would take his toys out, stand him up and help him wash. We then didn’t see them for awhile because of custody issues, so we don’t shower with them now, because they find the concept a little weird. The two girls shower together fairly frequently, especially when they’re pressed for time.
My husband and I are now talking about having kids together and I couldn’t imagine doing anything other than having my child in the bath with me. There might be times when I wouldn’t get in the tub, but then that’s what the kitchen sink is for.
Strange.
twitchy said,
November 21, 2007 @ 11:00 pm
i am surprised that they still bathe babies! (i really should be though) just rub in that vernix and get home! that being said, i cant get a bath alone, even the 7 yo jumps in
twitchy said,
November 21, 2007 @ 11:00 pm
i meant that i really SHOULDN’T be surprised