Comments about Nurse-In get Hathor in a Tizzy!
So a mama (thanks thordora!) sent me this thread on the site feministing.com and I thought you might enjoy it, you know, in that “Oh Wow! I want to BARF!” kind of way. http://feministing.com/archives/007696.html
ou know, I’m trying really hard to see this as a feminist issue, and I honestly can’t. I’m all for sticking it to the man and organizing against the patriarchy and all, but… I don’t really want to see some lady whip out her boob while I’m trying to get my burger on, either.
I swear I’m not trying to be combatative here, but could someone explain to me why these women shouldn’t have to cover up? Applebee’s wouldn’t permit a man to expose his chest in their restaurants, either. Maybe it’s because I’m not really a kid person, but the fact that a baby is involved doesn’t make me any more inclined to support public nudity for either sex.
although I would never willingly breast feed in public, I cannot disagree that at some point it would inevitably come up where I would be stuck in public with a hungry baby… so I don’t take issue with public breast feeding, although I’m far too shy to do it myself, unless neccessary of course, which I would assume is why women breast feed in public.
on a side note- breast feeding a 7-month old!? god… I’m so not breast feeding past five months..and thats only if I have too… ugh!
I agree that breastfeeding is best, and I plan to do so myself when I finally breed, if I can. But the boob nazis are seriously out of control. The idea that a woman might have a say in whether or how she uses her boobs is beyond them.
What’s even more frightening is that the La Leche League, among other boob nazi groups, has strong ties to anti-feminist groups. The mighty crusades about breastfeeding, natural childbirth and attachment parenting are the only arenas in which otherwise-liberal sorts have managed to jump feet first in bed with religious conservatives, and it’s seriously creeptastic.
Breastfeeding, like any other activity involving the body, should be an individual choice. It should be forced neither on mothers nor on unsuspecting passers-by.
There is no necessity to bf without coverage. None. The only women who argue otherwise are usually the kind who have drunk the kool-aid that tells them that being a mother–especially a bf mother–is tantamount to sainthood, and so they want to show off how remarkable they are for having squeezed a child out.
I am 100% behind setting up lactation rooms in every public place–especially workplaces–in which a parent (of whatever gender) can quietly feed his or her child or pump or whatever. But I simply don’t support the idea that people have the right to tote infants everywhere and whip out a boob whenever the fancy strikes.
It seems like these mothers want all the attention and privilege that comes with being a parent, but none of the responsibility–especially the responsibility of keeping your child from annoying the crap out of everyone else around you. Parenting means you have to limit your lifestyle. And that means scheduling outings only to baby-friendly places or scheduling them around feeding times. If you can’t do this simple lifestyle adjustment, you have no business being a parent in the first place.
First I got dizzy, then into a tizzy. And one might say I got my panties in a wad. But, the good news is that it gave me the idea for 10! that’s right I said 10! comics…no more no less. some directly related, some I digress. So, inspired and a wee bit barfy, here in the hilltops of coastal california. Just got back from Rattatouille too. good movie if you haven’t seen it yet.
Love,
Heather
wiffersnapper said,
September 9, 2007 @ 4:07 pm
Wow- if you go that discussion now, it’s so long that it’s hard to read the whole thing! Luckily, most of the people commenting seem to be of the “boobs are for feeding children, mothers should try to be modest without suffocating anyone, and people shouldn’t stare” mindset.
gonzopants said,
September 9, 2007 @ 4:32 pm
To be fair, the original post was much more in line with reason and logic than many of the comments.
mamaluxe said,
September 9, 2007 @ 5:29 pm
Wow. There are so many misconceptions about breastfeeding in those comments you quoted. I can’t take the time to read all the comments but it seems like a lot of people have been addressing those issues already.
I love how people who have never breastfed and haven’t even really discussed breastfeeding with someone who has breastfed, think they know all about it–and it amazes me they don’t even take the time to do any research to find out why what they say is just absurd.
It would take two seconds to figure out that newborns feed so frequently, or that some babies don’t like a blanket over them, or that a woman most likely has to pump when she misses a feeding, etc.
fibercrazed said,
September 10, 2007 @ 2:43 am
Where to even begin with that collection of generalizations, misconceptions, ignorance and prejudice? Some things don’t dignify a response (though I’m looking forward to seeing the future cartoons!)
jbarbie23 said,
September 10, 2007 @ 4:14 am
I’m sorry; I could hardly read the whole thing because I was too busy taking advantage of “all the attention and privilege that comes with being a parent.”
HAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAAAAHHAAAAA!!!!!
She owes me a new lung.
ruthla said,
September 10, 2007 @ 4:42 am
Aww, how cute. Another woman who doesn’t have kids yet thinks she knows how to be the perfect parent.
This paragraph says it all: “although I would never willingly breast feed in public, I cannot disagree that at some point it would inevitably come up where I would be stuck in public with a hungry baby… so I don’t take issue with public breast feeding, although I’m far too shy to do it myself, unless neccessary of course, which I would assume is why women breast feed in public.”
When she finally “breeds” as she puts it, I’m sure she’ll figure out that babies get hungry a lot. Unless she stays home for her child’s entire infancy, she’s going to frequently find herself in public with a hungry baby! She thinks she’s much too shy to NIP- but so do a lot of first time moms before they get comfortable with it.
There’s hope for her yet. It’s just a shame she’s so vocal about her ignorance right now.
bparrish55 said,
September 10, 2007 @ 5:03 am
One could hope perhaps she won’t “breed”. It doesn’t sound like it’s high up on the agenda.
janaki said,
September 10, 2007 @ 6:12 am
I guess I’m a boob nazi because I think my baby has the right to eat without being smothered by a blanket. Considering she has no experience with children, I wouldn’t pay any attention to her. lol, “So not breastfeeding past 5 months”??? Since she has no children, she obviously has no clue that even the AAP recommends AT LEAST one year. Don’t let that ignorant, childish girl get to you, Heather!
elderberryjam said,
September 10, 2007 @ 6:19 am
The “whipping your boob out” and “waving your boob” are what get me most. I mean, if I wanted to “whip my boob out,” I could really do that, and they’d KNOW it. That might really be offensive. And what’s with the La Leche League comments? Did they have something to do with this protest? Am I missing something? And the whole teeth thing. I’ve nursed 4 babies now, and this one is 15 months. I’m beginning to see most women as wimps, making excuses for things they don’t want to admit - like they don’t want to sit down and hold their baby for the time necessary to nurse them.
I’m 43, and the older I get, the more ignorant people making these comments sound.
Can I ask that teenagers necking be removed from the resteraunt? How about an old man picking his nose? Can we make a list of things that are offensive and worth resteraunt removal, and have people vote on them?
Gwen
TastesLikeCrazy said,
September 10, 2007 @ 6:29 am
“on a side note- breast feeding a 7-month old!? god… I’m so not breast feeding past five months..and thats only if I have too… ugh!”
I actually laughed at that one. [while breastfeeding my 10 month old]
The whole issue makes me crazy and those angry feelings are only exacerbated by ignorant/stupid comments.
luluandbeans said,
September 10, 2007 @ 6:38 am
First, I am so bloody sick of seeing the term “Nazi” used in reference to people who promote breastfeeding. It’s so insulting to what we are trying to do and what’s more it belittles the horrible experiences that people suffered under the actual Nazis.
That said…
I have to admit that I talked a lot of sh*t before I had kids, most notably my comments about stay at home moms. Guess what I’m doing now that I’m a mother to three? I also thought, back when I wasn’t faced with it, that spanking was perfectly fine and would not do any damage. Looking at my beautiful children now I could not imagine doing anything to purposely cause them harm. I thought the family bed was a ridiculous idea…guess where my kids sleep? And when I was pregnant with my first I stated repeatedly to my husband (a nurse) that I would give breastfeeding a “shot” but I was not to be pressured and the longest I would do was 6 months. IF I made it that long. Yeah….my daughter was breastfed until she was 20 months, and I only weaned her then because I was pregnant and her breastfeeding was so painful I would sit and cry during nursing sessions.
My point is this: My mind changed about a lot of things with regards to parenting., I ate my words and now I do my best to educate others about healthy parenting choices. And when I hear nonsense like that spouted by those who know so much but have never been there, I just smile and say “You just wait honey. You just wait and see.”
I’d love to hear what this woman has to say after she has kids
Julinda said,
September 10, 2007 @ 6:50 am
I went to the article/thread and was relieved when I found out that one person didn’t write all that. No, wait, that means there are multiple people all screwed up. Now I’m just confused.
Too many things wrong with all those responses to even address them. (I’ve never before seen anyone imply that 7 months was “too old.”)
But there was one non-BF thing that caught my eye in the thread - at least one person commented that Applebee’s was a nice restaurant, one where children might not be welcome. Applebee’s? I mean, it is nice enough, but it’s not like a fancy fine-dining place with waiters in tuxes or something. Last I checked it was a family restaurant.
Oh, well, at least it gets people discussing it.
clarebare said,
September 10, 2007 @ 8:18 am
Hahahaha - I’d so love to be there when this chick actually “breeds” and gets a clue! Payback’s a…oh you know what I mean.
janaki said,
September 10, 2007 @ 9:05 am
ruthla: so totally agree about new moms being shy. lol, the first time I went out in public on my own and was somewhere other than Babies R Us or the mall (both of which have rooms set aside for breastfeeding) I was so shy! I took my Boppy and a blanket, and my friend who I was with was trying to show me how to cover with the blanket, but dd totally wasn’t having it. I wound up just going home because I was too scared to do it without a blanket. Now of course, I just breastfeed. If it’s not too hot, I wear a nursing cami under a t-shirt and you can’t see anything. Most people think we’re cuddling.
wolfegirl said,
September 10, 2007 @ 10:04 am
Perfect examples of why breastfeeding should happen everywhere! If these people were exposed
to it as a normal function of everyday life, it wouldn’t even be an issue. The same goes for children being seen more places. This is life, people! It’s not just for the young + beautiful. Everyone has a right to participate!
alisaterry said,
September 10, 2007 @ 10:30 am
They might as well suggest all us mothers wear burkas and give up going out in public without a mail escort. If we’re the Boob Nazis, they are the Boob Taliban.
amyphilo said,
September 10, 2007 @ 11:01 am
Applebee’s not a family restaurant? That’s funny.
At our nurse in this weekend my family actually went inside to eat and test what nursing there would be like. My baby didn’t want to nurse for more than 2 seconds so I didn’t get the chance, but my husband overheard some old man coming in and complaining to the manager about all the protesters outside. The manager apparently said that they were trying to be reasonable.
He even offered to me that if anyone at the protest wanted drinks to let him know. It was pretty hot. The only bad thing about that day was that the food made me sick. Now I remember why I never normally go there.
wiffersnapper said,
September 10, 2007 @ 12:32 pm
The other thought is- if we never take our children out into public, how will they ever learn how to behave in public? The best teacher is experience! The idea is to start with McDonald’s & Friendly’s, and then move up to classier joints once their skills are in place. My daughter’s first restaurant was a Chinese place up the street, where no one has ever bothered us for nursing. And she recently went to the Olive Garden and was a perfect gem, because she considers eating in restaurants to be a normal life event.
Zannalyn said,
September 10, 2007 @ 1:57 pm
May the Goddess bless the writer(s?) of those comments with a beautiful child, and when she first holds that child may the Goddess smite her with such an incredible wave of love and oxytocin that she is utterly and completely changed. May she come to love nursing her child so much that she does it for at least 3 years. May she not only eat her words but gently laugh at other ignoramuses who spout such nonsense to her while she proudly nurses her baby here there and everywhere.
typed one handed while nursing my 3 year old.
sewathomemama said,
September 10, 2007 @ 4:31 pm
“boob taliban”! ha! you articulated my thoughts perfectly.
sapphire_chan said,
September 10, 2007 @ 8:28 pm
I’m quite pleased with the comments. Not nearly as many of the usual knee-jerk ageist remarks from those we can only hope die quickly before indoctrinating others with their hate agenda as one would expect and a number of reasoned responses from the middle ground.
E. g. “I admit to being quite uncomfortable at thought of breastfeeding kids who are old enough to ASK for it. But that’s MY PROBLEM, and I don’t expect anyone to alter their legal and natural behaviour because of my stupid hang-ups.”
sewathomemama said,
September 11, 2007 @ 2:11 pm
no one i know “whips their boob out” to nurse. i’ve never seen anyone nursing with their entire breast exposed except in relaxed, friendly settings. most moms i know have got the technique down in order to minimize exposure. and i don’t do it to make others comfortable, i do it for the sake of my own modesty.
it’s like seeing a baby nursing makes people think of nipples & that’s bad, but seeing a hooters restaurant makes people think of hot wings. wierd!
A moment of brain fart « Spin Me I Pulsate said,
September 12, 2007 @ 7:23 am
[…] I can’t imagine living somewhere that rewards you for breeding. Hell, in North America, half the time it seems like you’re being punished, be it because you posted breastfeeding pictures on Facebook or because you dare go out in public and feed the baby. […]
salllbug said,
September 12, 2007 @ 7:25 am
Our family had a good laugh about the fact that it’s women who complain about NIP, not men. My husband so delicately pointed out that what man is going to complain (in a restaurant) when he’s got good food AND breasts!
Persephone said,
September 17, 2007 @ 3:40 pm
There are so many tangents I could go on in regards to that post that I just don’t know where to begin. It’s like: collision of the world views- too many differences, and my brain explodes. I can’t even see her POV anymore, and that’s so weird to me- usually, I can at least see where someone is coming from.
Teens For Cash said,
September 21, 2007 @ 2:27 pm
Teens For Cash…
Sorry, it just sounds like a crazy idea for me :)…
Weight Loss Guide said,
October 10, 2007 @ 1:49 am
Weight Loss Guide…
I couldn’t understand some parts of this article, but it sounds interesting…