Help! The Breastfeeders are Oppressing me!
You heard me, we are now the oppressors. We’re the ‘nazis’, the ‘jack boot thugs’ and the ‘gestapo’. We’re constantly keeping the formula feeding mamas down. This is the new talking point and you’ll be hearing it a LOT in the news from here on out. The good news: It’s a sure sign that we’ve got the formula peddlers nervous. the bad news: there’s a possiblity that the meme could spread and new mamas will be turned off from breastfeeding because of what they’ve heard about us. We need to spread our own memes, quickly.
The interesting part of all this is the name-calling. It seems you can’t read a article about breastfeeding in the mainstream press without it being liberally sprinkled with the kind of names that the newspaper would never consider printing about any other constituency. Mothers are called ‘hysterical’, ’screechy’ and as noted above every version of World War 2 era evil doer. Including Fascist. Last I checked the Fascists were the ones that wanted corporate hierarchy. So not only are the names insulting, they don’t even make sense. But here’s the rub, I bear witness to a debate in which the proponent of breastfeeding is accused over and over of name calling, because of terms and phrases that aren’t name calling at all. So, it is that the rules of debate are sullied and muddied, and the old memes such as ‘breast is best’ are useless now, where to begin, again?
My first reaction is that the polite rules of debate and discourse should be thrown out the windows, you want names? We can give you names! You want mud slinging debate? Bring it on! But you know me, I’m a reactionary. So I’m open to ideas from the more calm and respectful of you…We need to spread a new meme. we aren’t the oppressors. Formula isn’t about freedom of choice. And… and… brainstormers invited!
Here’s another article: (thanks Yvette!) Enough Already with the “Breast is Best”!
Here’s the debate: (thanks Emily T!) read the comments
And, yesterday was my wee one’s anaesthesia appointment at the Dentist. It was terrifying, and so ordinary at the same time I thought I would go crazy. But everything’s fine and she only lost one tooth. And for that we are very grateful!
Love,
Heather
juliepie said,
August 11, 2007 @ 7:19 am
I decided to share my story in the comments after the article. I thought I would share it with you all as well:
I can tell you first hand, having formula around the house DOES interfere with breastfeeding.
When I had my first child, I was so gung-ho about breastfeeding. My own mother did not breastfeed any of us, but it just seemed like the right thing to do; natural and free (for a young family on a budget!)
My son latched on right away, and everything went well for a couple days. Then, the feedings came more often, and more irregularly. The formula feeders, including my own mother, said “He’s probably not getting enough milk!”. I was chastized for nursing in public, so I couldn’t leave my house due to the frequent feedings. In my time of need, I turned to one of my “gift” bags in my time of need. My son stopped nursing in a matter of weeks.
Bottle feeding was not easier. Instead of feeding my son in bed, I had to go downstairs and prepare a bottle. They always had to be refridgerated. And the cans of ready-to-feed were unaffordable. Even powdered put us in the poorhouse. That “gift” wasn’t enough to get us through more than a couple of days.
I had Logan in December of 2004. I decided to give breastfeeding another chance. He didn’t have a good latch. We had to work on that. I had blisters and bleeding, but I was determined to make it through the first two weeks recommended as a trial period. I gave my “gift” to the food pantry. So on those late nights (always the hardest time), I couldn’t give up. I made it through, and LOVED my breastfeeding experience, which lasted over a year. Late night feedings led to co-sleeping on most nights, and I loved waking up with my little guy nestled next to me. I never had to get out of bed, never lost any sleep. We breastfed everywhere: at restaurants, at the mall, at the beach. Most of the time, no one even saw anything more than a mother holding her child close. And I paid no mind to anyone who didn’t like it, including my own mother. To be truthful, seeing other nursing moms in action gave me the courage to try again. I hope that I was able to do that for someone else.
As for the formula, we never bought an ounce. I started pumping a little bit each day, and when I went back to work, I had a freezerful for my husband to feed our son. He said it was easier to prepare than the powdered formula. Just run it under warm water! We saved thousands.
I’m pregnant again with a little girl, and I look forward to breastfeeding her, too. And if I’m offered any “gifts”, I will politely refuse.
mamaof5 said,
August 11, 2007 @ 7:46 am
Good for you mama. It is so hard to breastfeed when you are constantly underminded. When my oldest (now 13!!!) was a wee babe I was constantly told how gross it was. I gave her bottles often, but some how was able to keep a desent nursing relationship. I weened her early, at 17 months, do to pressure from family that it was gross to nurse a child who could talk. Since then I have grown much more confindent and have nurse all my other children well into their second year… but I still get the comments “when are you going to stop that?” “when they can ask for it they are too old” “Do you have to do that here?”
I was lucky and never got the “free” gifts of formula… I birth my kids at a birthcenter and at home. But it is so hard to stand up to the pressures, especially as a first time mom.
Now I have a group of AP, BFing, HS mama friends who are so very supportive. In fact my last three children never had a drop of formula! And I am proud of that.
To be honest I can’t even readthese articles any more. I can’t listen to the hate that we allow to be dumped on mothers. Can you imagine any other group being crapped on like that? What the up roar would be like?? It is so easy to pick on mothers, so easy to pit us against each other, so easy to find something for them to have us be against each other. Imagine all the moms uniting… SAHM, WOHM, WAHM, breastfeeding moms, formula feeding moms, homeschooling moms and schooling moms… if we all stood TOGETHER to obtain rights for our kids and ourselves we would be unstoppable. But they pit us against each other. So we can’t see we are all in this together. We will never be a untied front if we are for ever allowing people to find things that we should disagree about. They are doing this… not us. They are finding things for us to hate about each other and we are falling for it! We need to stop. Stop reading the articles stop listening to the news reports and start working together. Not let ourselves be pulled into this rediculous fight. We should NOT go on TV and say how one sort of mothering is better then another.. we should go on and as all of it is good! Write letters telling them that we will not be divided!!
UNITE MAMAS!! Whether you breast feed or use formula… don’t let them tear us apart!!
LOVE AND PEACE!!
Heather in Tucson
nak
amyphilo said,
August 11, 2007 @ 3:38 pm
http://www.babywhys.org/linksblogsactivism2.htm
Take a chance for change
◦◦◦ Babywhys Letter Campaigns ◦◦◦
Current Babywhys Letters:
◦◦◦Ask the AAP to recommend 2 years of breastfeeding and reword their literature to refer to the risks of not breastfeeding rather than the “benefits” of breastfeeding.
I have a new website called Babywhys. There is a letter on there that you can send directly to the AAP from the website. Maybe that will help with the “oppression.”
Perhaps if our own doctors weren’t telling us inaccurate information and name calling the LLL people then some of this would stop. When my first was 3 days old a Children’s Hospital Doctor told me not to listen to the LLL “wackos” and said there was no such thing as nipple confusion, and I should give my baby some formula if it made me feel better. Well it didn’t make me feel better, but we gave it to him because I was so afraid I was starving him because my milk hadn’t come in yet. Later that night he nearly choked to death on the formula when he tried to vomit it back up after a couple of hours. That stuff does not digest in a newborn’s stomach very easily. Thanks to that doctor and the hospital issued formula and formula pushing my baby almost died.
http://www.babywhys.org/linksblogsactivism2.htm
amyphilo said,
August 11, 2007 @ 4:20 pm
Also I thought I would share this with Hathor readers. Perhaps if we can all do this, those being oppressed can get some more free samples somehow from the plethora that get returned. Then they can’t complain of oppression anymore.
Just the other day I got a package from Enfamil in the mail. I’ve also gotten phone calls from people who can’t even pronounce enfamil, and also growth charts which I have redecorated and sent back. This time I decided to make it extra ugly. I redecorated the follow up formula and I’m returning it to them. Watch this slideshow! (At the end is my first born wearing my glasses for fun, no he can’t read yet and no, he’s not visually impaired, but I thought it was a cute picture so I stuck it on there for the heck of it).
http://s63.photobucket.com/albums/h139/amyphilo/?action=view¤t=e1d91173.pbw
[URL=http://s63.photobucket.com/albums/h139/amyphilo/?action=view¤t=e1d91173.pbw][IMG]http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h139/amyphilo/th_August7029w_oaddresscopy.gif[/IMG][/URL]
amyphilo said,
August 11, 2007 @ 4:22 pm
Oh yeah one more thing, I am going to upload the label file to my babywhys yahoo group ASAP so you can all download and edit or use the labels yourselves. Hee hee…
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/babywhys/
amyphilo said,
August 11, 2007 @ 5:39 pm
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/babywhys/files/
You can get the files there and edit them and print and then go decorate some formula. Wouldn’t it be hilarious if those labels somehow mysteriously got plastered on the formula at the stores too… Mooo ooooh hoo hoo hoo ha ha hah!
The labels are 2 x 4 inches, Avery template 8163 in Word
=)
sewathomemama said,
August 11, 2007 @ 6:10 pm
new meme: “breastmilk not beast milk!”
my 2 cents. xoxo
i-dra
amyphilo said,
August 11, 2007 @ 6:11 pm
Instead of a black diaper bag that screams “formula giveaway” why not buy some reusable grocery tote bags that you can stuff with LLL flyers and other info, like Hathor books etc., to make some fun hospital gift bags as a breastfeeding outreach project for your local LLL chapter.
If anyone wants to do this as an outreach project and likes the designs on my shop, email me at amy@babywhys.org and I’ll get them for you at cost with no markup to me. Here is the link to one breastfeeding themed bag with a non-oppressive slogan (lol)
Or you can do this for baby showers.
https://www.cafepress.com/undercovermom.154156638
and here is a section with several bags
https://www.cafepress.com/undercovermom/3357738
amyphilo said,
August 11, 2007 @ 6:12 pm
breast milk not beast milk - that is hilarious!!!!!!!!!
wiffersnapper said,
August 11, 2007 @ 6:33 pm
While we’re at it- let’s give the adopted babies who’re allergic to formula a chance- grab some of that pumped milk and donate to a breastmilk bank! It’s quick, easy, painless, and (unlike giving blood) it doesn’t make you dizzy! Perhaps, before pushing the formula, some of the doctors could tell mothers who’re having trouble nursing that they can get breastmilk from a bank? It will still come out of a bottle, but it’s quality stuff!
Somewhere in the world is a baby who isn’t even mine who is alive because of my milk. Good Lord, what a feeling!
Mama Bear said,
August 12, 2007 @ 5:56 am
Make sure before you donate that you know where your milk is going. I would only recommend donating to a HMBANA milk bank (only eleven of them in North America) or donating directly to a family through MilkShare.
HMBANA milk bank locations: http://www.hmbana.org/index.php?mode=locations
MilkShare: http://milkshare.birthingforlife.com/connect
I would NOT recommend donating to any milk bank that partners with Prolacta. If you are curious as to why, I have chronicled my research about this company and the methods they employ to dupe unsuspecting, generous milk donors into providing their raw material for them here: http://www.breastfeedingsymbol.org/category/prolacta/. It’s long, but it’s worth being informed about. Hope this helps someone make an informed decision.
On a completely different note, Hathor, I am LOVING your Zoops story. Long live the Zoops!!
amyphilo said,
August 12, 2007 @ 7:41 am
I was communicating with someone from TX on the Mike Gravel grassroots campaign and this person who lives in Thailand, saw my cafepress shop because I offered to design a bumper sticker for the campaign.
He saw the breastfeeding quotes and possibly looked at babywhys too. I just had to share his comment here. it is too hilarious…
“I think your site is right on. Here in Thailand the sight of a mom
feeding her baby doesn’t draw anything but smiles. The idea that there
might be something “wrong” with that would be pretty difficult to get
over. But who knows? the Christian missionaries from the USA might be
able to do it. Sell some American baby formula in the process.”
Ahhh the irony. I do know that some people use their religion to justify oppression of breastfeeding. It’s not universal but it’s pretty easy to imagine the formula companies infiltrating churches with dogma against the breast. They already did it with “parenting” classes.
janaki said,
August 12, 2007 @ 12:30 pm
See I don’t get Christians thinking there’s something wrong with breastfeeding. It’s the food God intended babies to have! You’d think they’d be pro-breastfeeding!
djinneyah said,
August 12, 2007 @ 4:53 pm
i never understood that either, janaki. the bible is very pro-breastfeeding; several verses talk about it.
i’ve posted a couple comments on that blog. having done both bottles and breast, i’ll never, ever, in a million years, understand why someone would actually *choose* bottles, and i’m absolutely over-the-moon that they’ve banned the crap from going home with new mamas. wish they’d make that nationwide!
Suzanne said,
August 13, 2007 @ 6:28 am
I think a big part of the problem is simply sex-negative thinking– coupled with the complete inability of some people to think about breasts and women’s bodies in general as being anything but a sexual playground. Sin, sin, sin, Eve and the Fall of Man and all of that.
I also see a general hostility to mother/child bonding– no matter how you cut it, the love a mother feels for her child and the influence she has on that child is seriously potent stuff, and I think historically the patriarchy has found that to be very threatening. Gotta dethrone those goddesses!
Just some thoughts.
Other thoughts:
Whenever I have heard people express negativity about mother breastfeeding in public, I try to appeal to their empathy– this of course only works if people are polite and willing to listen.
I spoke to one woman who went on about how it is “rude” and I replied “Well, when considering a rule about good manners, I think it is a good idea to think about how that rule would work if it applied to *everyone*. (pregnant pause) If it is rude for a nursing baby to eat her lunch in public, why is it not rude for anyone else to eat their lunch in public? Are you willing to apply the same rule to yourself– that is never eat or drink anything where anyone else can see you? Is that reasonable or sustainable?”
She stared at me, but appeared to be listening and so I went on “How would you feel if you had to take your salad and frappuccino into the ladies room and eat your lunch sitting on a toilet? Or if you had to wear a bag over your head while eating so that nobody would have to look at your mouth while you chew?” She got the point.
Whenever possible, I try to put things in terms of the baby’s rights– she exists just as anyone else exists, breastmilk is her food, and she has the right to eat. If she doesn’t have that right, then neither does anyone else in this orally fixated culture. Put away that ubiquitous coffee cup!
Vicky said,
August 13, 2007 @ 10:17 am
I think the label of “oppressor” comes from this scenario (which is becoming all too common):
The new mother is told in glowing terms how wonderful breastfeeding is. She is inundated with information, statistics, told about about the risks of formula, etc. So far so good, right? But then she is given no actual, physical support. When things get difficult, she has no one to turn to. The only things she has to help her are slogans. She may have PPD. She may not be able to afford a lactation consultant. She may not have an LLL in her area. All the health professionals have to say is “Breast is best” and “formula is bad”. So she finally reaches the end of her rope and turns to formula with feelings of horrible guilt. Is it any wonder that she grumbles about “oppressors” and “breastfeeding nazis” or that she reacts defensively when someone talks about the risks of formula?
I don’t think the solution here is more slogans; I think it’s more support. As Heather in Tucson said. “Mamas unite!”. We need mothers helping mothers (because god knows no one else is going to :P). So start an LLL chapter if your area doesn’t have one. Start a breastfeeding support group for new moms. Get involved! Get active!
juliepie said,
August 14, 2007 @ 6:30 am
The whole Christians and breastfeeding thing that Janaki brought up…one of my favorite comebacks is:
“Well, breastmilk worked for the baby Jesus, so it’ll work for my baby too!”
thordora said,
August 15, 2007 @ 7:22 am
I’m with Vicky-I was all gungho to breastfeed, but received little help, had no family around to relive us, had PPD (which turned out to be bipolar). They recommend people with BPD not BF because the interruptions in sleep cause drastic swings in mood which can become very unsafe. I didn’t know any of this, and wondered why I sobbed through the let down the entire week I breastfeed my second born.
Those of us who had no choice but to turn to formula still carry the guilt and stigma despite having little to no choice in the matter. There’s no milk banks here, I knew no nursing mothers at the time, no nothing. And I was VERy much a person feeling like BFers were “nazi” like in their fervancy, and in their hatred for people like me who formula fed.
So yes, more support for mothers who don’t have it easy, or who have had circumstances not conducive to BFing. Hell, it’s almost 3 years since birth, and I’m still almost paralyzed with guilt when I see mothers peacefully bfing their children.
mamaluxe said,
August 15, 2007 @ 7:44 am
I’m the one who called her out on the Nazi terminology in the comments.
I wrote another comment (which did not turn up on the site…although I suspect nothing darker than my crappy rural Internet connection) that suggested that if we are going to throw around names, the formula companies are like drug pushers…handing out free samples to get you hooked.
And no, I don’t really think formula is comparable to crack…just that if someone were to get nasty, that analogy actually follows through, rather than the random insult of calling someone a Nazi or fascist.
Even if FORMULA were best, I would still have to wonder about why certain brands get preferential placement in hospitals…for that reason alone I am glad some hospitals are refusing to shill for a specific formula company.
However, I do agree with other commenters that the way to go is to focus more on supporting breastfeeding (and this site is great for that!) rather than cutting down the other side.
I think what some people fail to notice is that bfeeding for a full year is still very much in the minority. It is easy on the Internet or in upper middle class communities to get the idea that bfeeding receives tons of support and non-bfeeders are somehow persecuted…but the numbers reveal a different story!
If someone feels guilty about the choices they made (or did not have) as a mother, I really hope they are able to come to a place where they are at peace. Such retroactive self-recrimination must be very painful and you cannot turn back time.
And it is true…formula is not poison. And no mom should be made to feel like a bad mom for making choices that she decides are best for her family.
But that doesn’t mean that breast isn’t best…and it doesn’t mean that hospitals are excused from their obligation to promote what is generally best for the public health.
Redsy said,
August 25, 2007 @ 9:27 am
Since I wrote the “Enough with the ‘Breast is Best’” article at Babble, I thought I’d respond. To be clear, I’m currently breastfeeding my 2 1 /2 year old daughter. So why am I pissed off at breastfeeding advocates (not all, but some)?? Because when I had my twin daughters, I had some bad experiences with people who were not only unsupportive (”just get more rest honey, your milk supply will improve”), but judgmental that I had to end up supplementing with formula. I had a completely unsupportive coparent, terrible time with premature babies, and generally felt that formula saved my life. So I *do* get defensive (and bad with the namecalling) because I feel like the REAL support women need for breastfeeding (proper maternity leave, loving caregivers, health insurance, good nutrition) are completely lost in this debate. It’s as if people think it’s sufficient to just point out “breast is best” and leave it at that. If you are a working woman who has to go into an office 40 + h ours per week and has shit for maternity leave, you are so torn up anyway, and then to feel guilt about formula makes the whole thing worse.
Believe it or not, plenty of women who choose to bottle-feed and give formula love their children as much as you do.
Thanks for listening and reading.
-Rachael
I have a new piece over at Babble that you’ll probably hate too…but at least we can have interesting debates on the subject.
http://www.babble.com/CS/blogs/strollerderby/default.aspx#37957
World Religion Resources said,
October 25, 2007 @ 12:29 am
World Religion Resources…
I couldn’t understand some parts of this article, but it sounds interesting…
Latest Book Reviews said,
October 25, 2007 @ 3:29 am
Latest Book Reviews…
I couldn’t understand some parts of this article, but it sounds interesting…