Your Baby is Lying to You?
This kind of thing drives me crazy, a new article on a study: Babies Not As Innocent as they Pretend researchers finding things that just seem to prove their world view (I know, I know, the story about laughter being an ingredient in breastmilk could be just researchers proving their world view too-they did a marvelous job proving mine ;o)-but at least their study brings love and light and laughter into the world. so I give them a pass) this study on the other hand just reinforces the predominate view that children are inherently ‘bad’ and must be ‘corrected’. the good news is that it gve me an idea for a few comics…so see, a silver lining in every stormy cloud!
Love,
Heather
TastesLikeCrazy said,
July 4, 2007 @ 4:05 pm
This really drives me crazy.
I’m a huge fan of Dr. Sears and I just wanted to say that so that everyone would know that I’m biased here.
Anyway, I totally feel that babies cry to communicate. They can not talk yet so how else are they supposed to let you know that something needs to be fixed?
Cara only cries when she’s hungry or sleepy. I’m cool with that. That to me means that her needs are being met and I fully attribute that to the fact that I ALWAYS responded to her cries right aways before they escalated to a full blown fit. Is my child spoiled? Absolutely not. Is my daughter a well adjusted advanced child? You bet.
http://TastesLikeCrazy.blogspot.com
TastesLikeCrazy said,
July 4, 2007 @ 4:07 pm
That was supposed to be “right away” by the way. Oops.
wiffersnapper said,
July 5, 2007 @ 5:38 am
OK, so let me get this straight… babies, when they cry because they want to be held or get attention, are really lying, because they don’t “need” anything. So, what the researchers are really saying, is that attention and holding aren’t important, because they aren’t material things? (Like a dry diaper or food.) All I know is that my daughter must’ve lied a lot, then, because she spent her first nine months pretty much living against my chest in a frontpack. (Then she learned to walk!)
I find it really funny that they claim that the pause to see if the parent is responding is part of a “lie”. Funny, because I do the same thing with my husband. I say something to him, and then I pause to see if he’s going to respond. Is this deception? I could’ve sworn it was called “communication”! The baby pauses to see if the parent is going to respond, because, if the parent responds, the baby doesn’t need to cry anymore! Duh?
I think it’s pretty obvious that these folks have never been parents.
Julinda said,
July 5, 2007 @ 6:11 am
That’s so crazy. It’s not a “fake cry” or a lie if they are just crying to get you to come pay attention to them. That’s the only noise they know how to make. They’re saying, “Mom, come here, I want you.” That’s not a lie. That’s the most honest thing there is! And as for laughing - most parents encourage their babies to laugh by paying a lot of attention to it. That’s not lying either. They’re learning to be sociable and friendly.
Where do researchers get these ideas?
(Wiffersnapper - Sadly, they probably are parents. Or at least many who will hear and believe this are parents.)
Julinda
(That’s a real, not fake, unhappy face.)
sewathomemama said,
July 5, 2007 @ 8:06 am
so, now we’re supposed to wait until tears are rolling down before we respond? cuz, of course, that’s the only real, “honest” cry.
wiffersnapper said,
July 5, 2007 @ 8:11 am
Hey Julinda- If you’re right and they ARE parents, when I get their kids in my classroom, I’ll know by day 2 which ones they are. Ask any teacher- they can tell right off which kid’s parents give a hoot and which don’t. And it’s not the kids who are “good” vs those who are “bad”, either… it’s a lot of more subtle things. Like knowing that, when they ask for attention, they’re going to get it! (So they don’t have to be rude or get negative attention!)
BeebaBottoms said,
July 5, 2007 @ 11:19 am
I totally Agree with all you ladies. If babies Crying, (their only early verbal way of communication) is lying, then what is the world coming too? My son was famous for the cry a second, stop and wait, then cry again if he had to thing, which he rarely ever had to cry more… it was when he needed attention, whether that be for food, a diaper, or just to be held. He never really cryed just for crying, and this i believe is because we taught him early that if he let us know he needed us, (assuming we weren’t already taking care of his demands) then we would conme, no question. And there shouldn’t be a question. this is just crazy, how people want to beleive that they do not need to respond to their infants. If they didn’t want to care for an infant, they shouldn’t have one.
janaki said,
July 10, 2007 @ 12:18 pm
Let me ask one question: What is wrong with crying for attention, and how is that fake??? ALL humans need attention, including babies! Babies cry when they need it, adults and older kids do other things. Why would you ignore that?