Order this Cartoon as a 8.5 x 11 print on glossy photo paper and signed for only $10!

Hey ya’ll! I’m loving this site (reading it right now) The Birth Ecology Project.

And this one too! Birth the Play andBirth on Labor Day

Enjoy!

Order this Cartoon as a 8.5 x 11 print on glossy photo paper and signed for only $10!

Okay, hold onto your nursing bras…Moms, Don’t Forget to Feed Your Marriages; Why nurturing a passionate marriage is more important than breast-feeding. I know, I know you want to go ballistic. Me too.

the counter article Sex After Baby: Why Breast-Feeding Is a Plus By Armin Brott was good, but left me feeling a little let down. Like, there was no passion! No outrage! I wanted a daddy to stand up and say breastfeeding is HOT and my wife is HOT and…well, you know….

So, I started asking around and a friend told me of a daddy that she knew who would be perfect to write the response. I contacted him and by the next morning Voila! a letter, loving, angry, passionate, humorous and yes, raunchy (because we may be mamas and papas but that doesn’t mean we ain’t sexy!)

Note to mamas: If you are teaching your 4 year old to read on my blog or are reading this aloud to your 6 year old for fun…take heed! Cursey words ahead! hee hee.
Holy Shit — The Wisdom of Rabbi Shmuley

I was as shocked as anyone to discover that my wife was committing, in
the holy writ of Rabbi Shmuley, “Kosher Adultery.” This infidelity was
hard enough to bear, but the real kicker was that the lucky other guy
was our son, Kazu. According to the witch doctor of marital medicine,
breastfeeding had turned my wife’s tits from “scintillating flesh”
into a “feeding station.” He’d better not tell that to my prick,
because then I’ll have to deal with getting an erection every time I
pass by Subway. The way those sandwich artist harlots lay that cheese
on that meat, damn. That wouldn’t even be kosher.

It gets worse. Breastfeeding turns marriages into “barren wastelands,”
and public breastfeeding “profoundly de-eroticizing.” It’s almost as
if Shmuley believes a woman isn’t erotic just being a woman, that
being sexy is something she has to project, despite what she is.
Listen up, Shumley, breast feeding or not, if I catch you worrying
about the eroticness of my wife’s tits, we’re going to have a holy
war, so mind your own business.

The Rabbi goes on to “agree with the advice of ancient rabbis” that
husbands shouldn’t watch babies come out of their wives’ vaginas. This
turns the wives from women into mothers. What the fuck, Rabbi, is
wrong with your mind? If witnessing the blood and gristle, the magic
and mayhem, the power…the beautiful horror of a real birth is too much
for you, by all means, look away. But don’t for a minute think that
there is wisdom in your squeamishness.

That’s my beef with all these backwards religious stooges who project
their own problems with the life-giving power of women onto the women
themselves. Rabbi, if the sight of a human child being pushed out of
the flesh of a women is too much for you to bear, or if the sight of a
child getting sustenance that you can never provide, from a woman’s
breast offends you, then you need to cover up, not the woman. You,
Rabbi Scaredy Pants, need to hide yourself, strap on a double weight
burqa and bump your way blindly through life. A real man is awed by
the power of a woman, and a real man can get it up for those tits no
matter how many times his son has slurped and snuggled into them. And
Rabbi, just to ruin your marriage, I’m going to divulge a little
secret. Those super hot butts that women shake when they’re not
breastfeeding or giving birth…they use those for more than just
turning us men on, and it rhymes with “sitting.”

Sean Sakamoto, formerly known as Sean Bosker, has been writing about
life in New York for the Japanese newspaper, Mainichi Weekly for the
past two years. He is currently at work on a historical novel set
during the first crusade. www.flojin.com

Woooooooohoooooooooooooo! wow. sexy and outrageous, huh? Of course, it goes without saying that if you have a dearest husband who would like to write his thoughts about the “Breastfeeding as the cause of Divorce” article send them in!

Love and xxxxx,

Heather

Order this Cartoon as a 8.5 x 11 print on glossy photo paper and signed for only $10!